


I Didn't Start This

by nitschieh



Category: Common Law
Genre: Angst, Bickering, First Kiss, First Time, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:58:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitschieh/pseuds/nitschieh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wes followed Travis' eyes to see that he was obviously referring to the apron.<br/>“What!? I don't want my clothes to get dirty.”<br/>It seemed as if Travis still couldn't follow.<br/>“Get dirty doing what?”<br/>“We're gonna cook.”<br/>Travis' mouth fell open.<br/>“No.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wes followed Travis' eyes to see that he was obviously referring to the apron.  
> “What!? I don't want my clothes to get dirty.”  
> It seemed as if Travis still couldn't follow.  
> “Get dirty doing what?”  
> “We're gonna cook.”  
> Travis' mouth fell open.  
> “No.”

“No, Travis, we are not taking this.”  
Travis stopped, looking from the pizza in his hands up to Wes and back to the pizza. Then he tossed the carton into their grocery cart.  
“Travis!”  
“What man? I need to eat.”  
Wes took the pizza back out and said:  
“So cook!”  
Travis watched him as if he was turning into a big troll right in front of his eyes.  
“You know what happened last time.”  
Wes flinched as he remembered the chaos Travis had created when he had just tried to make Spaghetti Bolognese.  
“I'm gonna teach you.”, Wes said matter-of-factly. Travis laughed.  
“You what?”  
“I said”, Wes added a pause, “I am going to teach you.”  
“And you think that's gonna end less a disaster?”  
Wes sighed.  
“Listen, Travis, you know I only agreed on this because you said you would try to cooperate.”  
“Man, you make it sound like I had been asking to live with you. It was Dr. Ryan's idea... 'Less complicated and cheaper'... What did she even think?”  
Travis was wildly gesturing with his hands.  
“I was talking about the shopping.”  
“Oh.”, Travis said, his lips quickly forming a grin.  
“Yeah, that was one of her better ideas.”  
Wes just rolled his eyes, making his way to the vegetables.  
“Hey, Wes, are you really going for the healthy way?”, Travis asked as he hurried to catch up with him.  
“Yes because unlike you I don't want to be fat one day.”  
Travis acted surprised.  
“Fat!? Have you seen my perfect body? You'll-”  
“Travis, keep your fucking shirt down.”  
Travis, whose hands were just about to pull up the hem, looked at him with wide eyes but eventually obeyed.  
“Thank you.”  
Wes looked around. Of course they already had the attention of most of the other customers so he hurried to the cashier – Travis even helped his to put all the things on the assembly line. When there was just one woman in front of them any more, Travis gave him a clap on the shoulder and disappeared with the words:  
“Sorry man, I'll be right back. Forgot something...”  
As Wes was first in line Travis still wasn't back. He even had to wait after everything else was scanned. Wes had to calm down the cashier as she was becoming impatient.  
When Travis came back in sight he hid whatever he had forgotten behind his back. Wes became suspicious and should have probably listened to his inner voice that was telling him to just say his partner obviously wouldn't came back and go. He hesitated one second too long.  
“Thanks for waiting.”  
He flashed the cashier a distracting smile and before Wes could react she scanned the pizza and – what the hell, were that condoms!? - Travis had brought.  
“Travis, you did not..”  
But Travis just shrugged, took his stuff and left Wes alone to pay. He quickly gathered the grocery and shouted after him:  
“Travis!”

***

On the way to their flat – it sill felt kinda weird to call it their home – they didn't speak at all until Travis began to zap through the different radio channels. He would listen to a song for about a minute before he got tired of it and changed it again.  
“God would you please just stop that?”  
Travis hesitated a bit – the radio decided to start 'Call Me Maybe' just in that moment – before he leaned back and grinned.  
“Okay, fine. I mean you even said please.”  
He knew Wes hated that song. He began to hum along until the blonde let out an exasperated sigh and turned the radio off. Travis sat straight up.  
“I wanted to listen to that.”  
He shook his head. Wes ignored him, keeping his eyes on the street.  
“I can't believe you won't even let me listen to music.”  
Wes shortly looked at him with a raised eyebrow before he turned back to watch the traffic.  
“I don't believe you made me buy condoms for you!”  
“Oh, so that's what this is about: you're jealous!”  
“I... What!?”  
Frowning Wes looked at Travis again.  
“Red light!”  
Wes hit the break fast enough so they just almost crashed in the crossing pedestrians.  
“Man you really need to pay more attention to the road. You're a potential danger for everyone – especially me.”  
Wes ignored him again.  
They didn't say another word until Wes' car rolled into the parking lot.  
“Get the bags.”  
“Why me?”  
Wes put his hands on his hips like he always did to show others that he would not discuss on things.  
“You know exactly why. Now get them.”  
Travis grinned because yes of course he knew. Which is why he eventually did as Wes had said.  
On the stairs he still wouldn't shut up though.  
“You could have at least taken one.”  
Wes turned around, a grin showing on his face as he eyed the seven bags in Travis' hands.  
“Why's that? I thought you could manage that much. But sure, if these are too heavy I'll help you.”  
Travis made a face but didn't say another word until they reached their apartment. He dropped the bags on the kitchen table with a heavy 'Uff!' while Travis neatly put his jacket on a hanger.  
Travis began to unpack the bags; Wes suddenly disappeared in his room.  
“What the hell are we going to do with all this healthy stuff?”  
He didn't get an answer.  
“Wes? Hey! Wes!”  
Still nothing.  
“Man, this isn't funny. I have no idea where to put all these things. You know I'll even pay for the condoms.”  
“That's the least you can do.”  
Wes came into the kitchen with an apron hanging around his neck which he twas trying to tie behind his back.  
“What the hell?”  
“What?”  
Wes followed Travis' eyes to see that he was obviously referring to the apron.  
“What!? I don't want my clothes to get dirty.”  
It seemed as if Travis still couldn't follow.  
“Get dirty doing what?”  
“We're gonna cook.”  
Travis' mouth fell open.  
“No.”  
“I told you I would teach you.”  
“You never mean things like that.”  
“But I meant that one.”  
Travis looked helpless.  
“You didn't say you wanted to do it today.”  
“Of course not. If I had told you, you would've come up with an excuse.”  
Wes got him speechless. It took Travis a moment to re-gain his self-control – at least a bit.  
“Okay man, listen. If we're really going to do this – I can't believe I'm agreeing on this... You have to take off that apron. I can't take you serious in it...”  
Wes looked down at himself.  
“It's not that bad.”  
It was in fact a simple, plain, white apron.  
“As I just said, I don't want my clothes to get dirty.”  
“And as I just said I'm not gonna do this if you wear that ridiculous thing.”  
“It's not-”  
Travis gave him a look.  
“Okay, fine.”  
Wes tried to untie the knot at his back but couldn't quite reach it. He groaned.  
“Could you... Could you lend me a hand?”  
Travis couldn't hide his grin, he probably didn't even try to.  
“Sure man.”  
Travis had his trouble undo the knot himself.  
“Wow, what the hell did you do?”  
“I don't know, I tied a knot?”  
It finally loosened.  
“Man that thing was just like you, maybe you should take it as an example and stop being so fricking uptight...”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“I don't know man, the pizza, the apron.. It's gonna be fine you know.”  
Wes eyed him suspiciously but didn't say anything and just put his apron on a chair-rest.  
“Also if you really worry about your clothes that much you should probably just undress completely...”  
“Really Travis? You're hitting on me right now?”  
“What? That was a joke, man, a _joke_!”  
“Yeah, I thought so. I was being sarcastic...”  
There was a moment of silence.  
“Seriously, you hitting on me? That's weird. How can people actually think we're gay?”  
“I don't know man.”  
Travis was shivering.  
Another period of nothing until Travis asked.  
“So what exactly are we going to cook?”  
“Hm? Oh, Spaghetti Bolognese. You know, something simple.”  
Travis froze.  
“Really? You do remember what happened last time, right?”  
“Yes, I do. Which is why I am here.”  
Wes flashed him an encouraging smile which was kind of unusual for him but somehow did it for Travis.  
“Okay man. … I don't even know why I trust you in this.”  
“Oh, believe me, I don't even know why I am doing this to myself. But now we started it we finish it.”  
“But we didn't even start yet.”  
Wes looked at the still almost unpacked bags.  
“We bought the stuff okay? We're doing it!”  
“Dr. Ryan would be so proud of us.”  
With a chuckle Wes turned around to face the things they had bought. There were seven bags and they needed content from one. Why exactly did he buy all this stuff? He sighed.  
“At first we need some space. You unpack the bags and I get the utensils.”  
“I told you I have no idea where these things are supposed to be.”  
“Which is why you're doing it to learn about our kitchen.”  
While Wes got everything he needed and casually said 'Over there.', 'No, the one below.' and 'You just closed that one!' Travis walked from the room's one end to the other and back.  
Wes sighed and wiped over his forehead when they eventually were finished.  
“So, what now?”  
“At first we'll cook the pasta.”  
Travis looked at him confused.  
“How did you do it the last time?”  
“I don't wanna talk about it...”  
Wes grinned.  
“Read the descriptions on the back.”  
Travis nodded shortly as he began to eagerly read the instructions. Wes took the provided pot and poured water in it.  
“Oh, that... That makes much more sense.”  
Wes grinned again and thought that it was almost cute how ambitious Travis suddenly was about this.  
“So which one's the salt?”  
Wes turned around, the pot in his hands and an eyebrow raised.  
“Well, there's one with a 'P' on top and one with an 'S'... It's probably the 'P' one...”  
Travis rolled his eyes and took the container with the 'S' on top.  
“How much exactly is 'a pinch'?”  
“Just start and I'll tell you to stop.”  
Travis looked at him curiously, shrugged and started putting the salt with a force that Wes did not expect.  
“Whoa, stop! Stop.”  
Wes grabbed Travis' wrist, pulling it away.  
“That... That's enough.”  
He released Travis.  
“Next time maybe you could try a little less...”  
Travis nodded slowly as Wes took away the pot to put it on the stove, turning the heat on. The he asked nonchalantly:  
“So, what to do now?”  
Travis took the pasta package and read the text on the back again.  
“Boil the water, then put the spaghetti in.”  
Wes grinned enthusiastically.  
“Very good.”  
The other one flinched.  
“Stop talking to me as if I were a kid.”  
“But you're acting like one.”  
Travis didn't respond to that.  
“If you put the cover on it the water's gonna boil faster.”, Wes said matter-of-factly.  
Travis spun around three times before Wes sighed and took the lid which lay about ten inches away from them on the kitchen table himself.  
“Ah, yeah... So, do we just wait now or...?”  
“You really are acting like a child right now, Travis. And no, you could peel the tomatoes in the meantime.”  
“Peel the tomatoes?”  
“Yes, Travis, _peel the tomatoes_.”, Wes answered, obviously already becoming a bit annoyed.  
“What did you think we're going to do with them? Heat them and then hope they melt and turn into sauce?”  
Travis gave him a look.  
“Whoa, calm down, man. It was just a question.”  
“It was a stupid question, that's the problem.”  
Suddenly Travis laughed. Wes turned around, glaring at him.  
“What are you laughing about?”  
“Nothing...”  
“Travis, what-” - Wes-typical pause - “are you laughing about?”  
Travis was still chuckling.  
“Nothing man. Now go on with your pouting.”  
Wes raised an eyebrow.  
“Pouting? Me?!”  
“Obviously.”  
The glee was visible in Travis' eyes; Wes didn't like it.  
“Why would I pout?”  
“I don't know, you tell me.”  
But they couldn't discuss this any longer as the water in the pot began to simmer and make noises. They remembered they were about to cook.  
“Oh, it's almost boiling.”  
“Wow, really? Now put the spaghetti in.”  
Travis had his troubles with the carton.  
“Why the hell didn't you open that earlier?”  
“You didn't tell me to.”  
“I told you to peel the tomatoes and you didn't do that either.”  
“Point”, Travis admitted, still fiddling with the package. Wes groaned.  
“Let me help you.”  
Wes grabbed the carton.  
“No, thanks. I'm not gonna lose against some paper.”  
“Don't be stu-”  
As both of them pulled to opposite directions the carton eventually surrendered. Pasta spilled all over the floor and table and for a moment the two men just looked at each other with wide eyes. Then the babbling began:  
“Wow, Travis, well done.”  
“Me? You pulled on it.”  
“I offered to help you.”  
“I said I didn't need help. So now look at what you did.”  
“I didn't do this. You couldn't open it in the first place.”  
“So you admit it's your fault?”  
“No, it is not. If you had opened the carton earlier I wouldn't have to help you.”  
“You told me to peel the tomatoes.”  
“You didn't even do that! And I thought you already took the spaghetti out.”  
“When was I supposed to do that?”  
“You definitely had enough-”  
They looked at each other.  
“What is that noise?”, Travis asked. There was something like a hissing filling the air.  
“I have no- Fuck, the water!”  
Wes hurried to get the cover off the pot, almost burning his fingers doing so.  
“You didn't tell me water could boil over!”  
“Well, now you know...”  
Wes jumped to the sink, gently watering a cloth.  
“Pick up the pasta.”  
Surprisingly Travis immediately did as Wes said so the blonde could clean the stove without getting disturbed. Just one time Travis bumped into his left leg but he got his balance back quickly.  
When Travis had picked them all up, he just held them up, showing Wes proudly – just like a kid.  
“Ugh, just put them in.”  
Travis started talking and even turned to Wes when he was about to put the spaghetti in the boiling water:  
“Wow, Wes, I'm impressed. Did you really-”  
“Whoa, caution.”  
Wes pulled him back, holding both his arms in his hands.  
“You know the water is hot don't you?”  
Travis looked at him with wide eyes, staying perfectly still.  
“Man, you scared me!”  
“I better did. Now take care of your hands.”  
“Yes mum.”  
Wes gave him a look. Travis actually shut up and put the spaghetti into the pot, still grinning though.  
“Now turn the timer on.”  
Travis turned around, a questioning look in his eyes.  
“What timer? Hey, do I put the cover back on?”  
“Yeah, do that – but a bit slanting. And turn the heat down a bit.”  
Travis did so and Wes was still surprised by how enthusiastic the black haired seemed.  
“Okay, now, what timer?”  
“Travis, how the hell did you prepare pizza earlier?”  
Travis shrugged.  
“I used the timer on my phone.”  
“Then use that one, we just need a timer. But just for your information: This oven does in fact have a timer.”  
Travis took out his phone.  
“What time?”  
“What does the description say? You were the one who read it after all – twice.”  
“Point.”  
“Wow, that's already my second one today.”, Wes teased but Travis ignored him. He just re-read the small text – again – and typed the time in his phone.  
“Done.”  
He lay it down on the kitchen table and looked at Wes with big eyes.  
“Just peel the tomatoes already.”  
“Okay, okay. How many?”  
“All of them.”  
“Alright.”  
Travis took the tomatoes and placed one of the on the breadboard Wes had prepared earlier, the other ones next to it – peeling tomatoes, that he could do.  
“Hey, where are the knives?”  
“God, Travis, you are impossible.”  
Wes gave Travis a knife though for he just grabbed one himself right in that moment.  
“Where did you get your dishes from before?”  
Wes pushed the drawer shut with his hip.  
“Thanks. Well I just took them out of the dishwasher... When they were dirty I even wiped them clean.”  
The blonde gathered the spices they had bought earlier around himself, putting some rosemary on his breadboard.  
“That's disgusting! And you do realize that it would take less effort to just use one from the drawer don't you?”  
Wes chopped the straws to small pieces while Travis concentrated on peeling the tomatoes.  
“Well probably.”  
Wes sighed and for a few seconds they didn't talk so the only noise filling the kitchen was the sound of Wes' knife against the breadboard's wood. Until:  
“Ouch!”  
Wes stopped.  
“Okay, what did you do now?”  
Even though he tried hard he couldn't resist the urge to look up – he should have known better.  
Tomato still in his left hand, Travis was staring at his right thumb. On it's fingertip was a straight cut, almost half an inch long.  
“Really, Travis? And you tell me not to talk to you as if you were a child...”  
He put the knife away and wiped hands on a cloth.  
“Clean it, I'll get you a band-aid...”  
And Wes disappeared to the bathroom. He came back with a first-aid kit in his hands just a few seconds later. Travis held his thumb under the faucet, pouring water over it.  
“Really? A first-aid kit? I don't need this, it's just a little cut.”  
“You'll ruin the food with it. Now show me your hand.”  
Reluctantly Travis turned around.  
“You know I can do this myself.”  
“You didn't wash your other hand, you're gonna get an infection. Now show me your hand!”  
Travis – stubborn as he was – couldn't help but suck at his thumb to show everything was alright. He hissed when it hurt more.  
“You dumbass, what did you expect when sucking it? Won't stop bleeding when you force it out as well.”, Wes explained.  
“Now give me your fricking hand.”  
Wes pulled at Travis' wrist then tried to put the band-aid on.  
“Stop shaking!”  
“I'm not shaking. I can hold it still.”  
“Obviously not. Explains why you lost the sharp-shooting competition though.”  
“I won!”  
“No you didn't.”  
“Yes I did.”  
“No you didn't and now keep still!”  
“I did win!”  
Wes groaned. He walked around the table, eventually facing Travis from the other side.  
“Put your elbow on the table.”  
Travis sighed, sat down on the chair next to him and held out his hand, leaning on the wood. Wes gently put the band-aid around his thumb. Both looked at it when it was finally done – Wes somewhat proud, Travis suspiciously.  
“Okay, now you may peel the other ones.”  
“Dinosaurs?”  
“What?”  
Wes had just picked up the knife to continue chopping the rosemary but turned towards Travis again. He pointed on the band-aid.  
“Dinosaurs?”, he repeated.  
“I figured it would suit you and your mental state.”, Wes teased.  
“Why do we even have those in the first place?”  
Wes smiled.  
“For situations just like this. Now work on your tomatoes.”  
Travis scoffed but gave his attention back to the vegetables nonetheless; Wes finished chopping the rosemary and started with some parsley.  
“'Kay, I'm done.”  
“Good. Now you have to mash it. Put it in the bowl next to you, then add a little bit of water and mash it with the liquidizer.”, Wes explained, never looking up.  
Travis hummed to show he listened and put the peeled tomatoes in the mentioned bowl. He then added the water and took the liquidizer just like the other one had said when suddenly Wes turned around.  
“And do it cautiously and put some cover on it. It's likely to spill.”  
And right in that moment it was too late. Travis had turned it on and just like Wes had predicted half of the tomatoes' juice spilled all over both of their shirts. Both froze immediately.  
“Travis?”  
Travis didn't say anything.  
“Travis you just ruined my favorite shirt.”  
Travis finally turned around, took a closer look at him.  
“It looks like a usual shirt to me...”, he said with a grin.  
Wes cleared his throat.  
“It's... It's a present. Alex once gave it to me.”  
Travis' grin widened into a smirk.  
“You really need to move on, partner. See, I'll help you.”  
He put his hands on the shirt's first button, working on it. Wes jerked back.  
“What the hell are you doing?”  
“Helping you to move on, man. At first you need to get rid of that shirt; Alex has such a bad taste. The color doesn't even suit you.”  
He kept working on the button.  
“Again, what are you doing?”  
Travis looked at him with big eyes, looked back at his hands and back up.  
“Obviously undressing you.”  
Wes coughed.  
“Yeah, obviously... Don't you think I can do that myself?”  
Travis seemed to think about this for a moment. Wes eventually snapped.  
“Keep your fingers to yourself!”  
Travis held his hands up in defense.  
“Whoa, sorry partner. I just think you should get a shirt off by someone else to make a better effect.”  
“Do you even listen to yourself, Travis?”  
He took a step closer again.  
“Yes, I do.”  
His voice was lower that usual. Wes frowned.  
“Travis! God, Travis, you know it's me? Wes?”  
Travis nodded, now working on Wes' button again.  
“Travis, this firstly and most obviously means I am not a woman.”  
“I know.”  
“Travis!”  
Travis stopped and looked up at Wes, annoyance very clearly in his face.  
“What, Wes?”  
“You know, you are still trying to undress me? You know that this is not going to lead _anywhere_ where you would want me to be undressed? You know that I am not going to let you undress me?”  
Travis' face softened, turned into another grin.  
“I never insisted anything like that. You know you're making things up, right?”  
He turned his attention to the next button; somehow that made Wes' heart beat faster. He took a step back, not wanting Travis to feel it.  
“You should probably take off your shirt as well...”  
Wes turned his face away but he could still feel Travis' grin.  
“Shut up.”  
“I didn't even say anything yet.”  
“You were thinking about it.”  
“Since when is thinking forbidden?”  
“Since you are having inappropriate thoughts including me.”  
“I'm not having inappropriate thoughts. That's you.”  
Suddenly Wes' shirt flew open. He hadn't even realized that Travis had still been working on it.  
“See, it wasn't that bad was it?”  
Wes could still hear Travis' grin in his voice. He could feel a blush creep up his neck.  
“In case you were wondering, I'm most definitely not returning the favor.”  
“Favor?”  
Wes' eyes widened.  
“I wasn't... This... I just...”  
He stopped when he realized he was stuttering. When exactly did the cooking turn into something so awkward?  
“It was a favor for you?”  
Wait, cooking?  
“Travis, on what time did you put the timer?”  
Travis was startled.  
“Timer?”  
“The pasta! How long did it cook now?”  
“I don't know. I put the timer on 12 minutes, like the description said.”  
Travis was still blinking rapidly as Wes hurried towards the table to get the phone.  
“Travis, your freaking battery is dead!”  
“It is? Fuck!”  
“Watch you mouth!”  
“I don't want to 'watch my mouth'! Our food is screwed up and I'm hungry.”  
This made them remember that they still had the pasta on the hot stove. They spun around, Wes immediately pushed the pot back and turned the heat off. Travis cautiously lifted the cover, not daring to look at the spaghetti though.  
“How bad is it?”, he asked.  
Wes leaned forwards, waving off the steam that floated right in his face and then sighed.  
“Did you ever try to drink pasta?”  
Travis look became horrified.  
“Really that bad?”  
He leaned over the pot as well and flinched at what he saw: The spaghetti looked more mashed than the tomatoes.  
“So, I guess we're not going to have pasta today?”  
Wes sighed exasperatedly, let his chin drop to his chest. Then he looked up again, watching Travis.  
“You got pizza, right?”  
“Actually you bought the pizza but yes we do in fact have some.”  
Wes rolled his eyes.  
“Good, where is it?”  
Travis' eyes narrowed, he looked around the room.  
“Still in the car?”  
Wes groaned.  
“Nice, just where it's supposed to be...”  
“Hey, this isn't my fault!”  
“Whose fault is it then? I told you to get the bags.”  
“It wasn't in the bags, obviously.”  
“Why wasn't it?”  
“Because...”  
Travis hesitated.  
“Oh, right. Because you left right away when you got your stuff. Not that I waited for you or something.”  
Travis bit his lower lip – Wes did in fact have a point.  
“Are the condoms still in my car as well?”  
Wes didn't sound annoyed or angry anymore – or well, he did just not that much – but hurt.  
“Hey, are... Are you alright?”  
Wes' eyes widened a little bit.  
“What?”  
“Listen, man... I'm sorry, okay?”  
His eyes widened even more.  
“Did you just apologize?”  
Travis didn't answer.  
“You're apologizing now? You're always doing it that way aren't you? Waiting till everything is already screwed up so much you can't possibly make it worse when you admit you're wrong? I hate that!”  
Travis gulped. Of course they always had fights but especially Wes never really got to the emotional talking – not since they had ended up on the precinct's tables, punching each other. This suddenly was somewhat a serious situation.  
Travis decided to change the subject:  
“Listen, man. I'm just gonna get the pizza now and you clean up a bit and then we eat dinner okay?”  
Wes frowned.  
“You actually want me to clean up the kitchen?”  
“Nope, you want yourself to clean it up.”, Travis said as he turned around, grabbed Wes' car keys and left their apartment.  
Wes sighed, turning back towards the chaos they had left in the kitchen. There were mashed tomatoes in a bowl – and on the floor – mostly chopped herbs, next to skin of tomatoes and last but not least a pot full of bloated spaghetti. Wes sighed again. He should've listened to Travis – the two of them and cooking could only result in a disaster.  
So Wes went to the kitchen table, took the leftovers of tomatoes, rosemary and parsley and threw them in the garbage compactor. Then he poured the water from the pot in the sink and put the pasta in the trashcan. Next he took the half mashed tomatoes – he realized that he was still wearing his dirty – to throw them away as well when suddenly the door bell rang. Wes startled so hard that half of the bowl's content spilled over, right over his chest, dropping down it's way to his pants.  
Wes cursed, put the bowl back on the table and hurried to get to the door. Through the speaker Travis confirmed that he had forgotten his keys to the flat and the door had closed. Wes sighed, let Travis in and went back to the kitchen, finally putting his shirt aside and got some paper towels to clean up his chest.  
“Sorry, man, at least I got the pizza now. Whoa!”  
Wes looked up.  
“What?”  
Travis grinned.  
“That is quite a view.”  
“Travis, stop it. You've had your fun before but it's enough.”  
Wes continued wiping off the mess, Travis put the pizza on the table.  
“You still got something up there.”  
Travis pointed right under his chin.  
“Ugh, where? How did it even come up there?”  
He brushed over his collarbone only to make it worse as he distributed the red sauce that already was on the towel all over there. It made Travis laugh.  
“There, let me help you.”  
Wes held out the towel and Travis took it but threw it away and got a new one. Then he took Wes' arm in his left arm and wiped over the tomato leftovers. Wes twitched.  
“Your hands are fricking cold!”  
“Sorry, the pizza.”  
Wes didn't even react on the fact that Travis had apologized again. All he could feel was that he got goosebumps all over his chest, making even his nipples hard. His heart beat faster.  
“That's.... Thanks.”  
Wes batted away Travis' hand who just looked at him with big eyes.  
“It's enough.”  
“But there's still something left.”  
To emphasize this Travis rubbed his thumb – the one without the cut – over the red jelly-like substance on Wes' collarbone. The blonde's eyes followed its movements, staring at it even when Travis took it to his lips and licked it off.  
“At least the tomatoes tasted good.”  
Wes gulped.  
“Are you alright, man?”  
Wes looked away.  
“I told you to stop.”  
“Stop what?”  
“Stop what you're doing. You're acting as if you-”  
Wes trailed off as he saw the mess that was still all over Travis' shirt. His heart skipped a beat, then decided to fasten its pace.  
“Your shirt..”  
His voice was rough.  
“You're still in this dirty shirt. I don't like it.”, Wes said as he started working on the first button.  
For a few seconds he wondered what the hell he was doing there but he could no longer hear his complaints over the loud pounding of his heart.  
“Wes?”  
Wes bit his lower lip, working his way down. When the last button flew open, his hands were right above Travis' belt, not sure of what to do next.  
“Hey, Wes!”  
Startled, Wes looked up, staring right at Travis' eyes. His breath hitched, suddenly going a bit faster.  
“Okay, man, whatever this is I didn't start it, right?”  
Wes swallowed hard and slowly shook his head. He held both of Travis' arms and almost made a last step towards him before he suddenly snapped, realizing what he was doing. He jerked back, letting go of the other man as if he just caught fire.  
“I'm sorry. Can we just forget this happened?”  
Wes didn't even wait for an answer, just turned around to storm out of the kitchen. Travis grabbed his wrist though.  
“Wes, are... Are you...?”  
Travis' look traveled down his chest to his belt and just a little but lower. That was what he needed to finally realize that he was already hard – very hard. Wes blushed. And it was not just a blush. He felt his whole body get warmer, hotter under the stare of Travis' eyes.  
“You are, aren't you?”  
“Shut up. And let me go.”  
Wes wriggled his whole arm but Travis wouldn't loosen his grip.  
“Don't you think we should kinda... you know.. talk about this?”  
“Talk? Really Travis? When you have a boner it's always the first thing you want to do right? Talking?”  
Wes whimpered. He pulled one last time but when Travis wouldn't let him go he gave up. This was embarrassing. So embarrassing. He didn't really dare to look up but did eventually and was surprised when he found the other one thinking.  
“So, do you... Do you need help or..?”  
Travis trailed off, his cheeks turning slightly pink as well. Wes' eyes widened once again.  
“You-”  
“Listen, I know how that feels and we can just pretend it never happened okay?”  
“You... would be okay with it?”  
“You can still do it yourself... In case you want another hand to do it I don't think there's much of a choice.”  
Travis was back to the teasing but it lacked intensity. Wes swallowed.  
“You can pretend it never happened?”  
“I've had enough sex that – in my opinion – never happened. I could as well add another one.”  
“Do you even realize how insensitive that was?”  
Travis smirked.  
“Do you want to complain or do you want me to help you?”  
Wes turned away, he didn't want to lock eyes with Travis right now.  
“I...”  
He groaned and threw his head back.  
“Would you... lend me your hand?”  
It was the most embarrassing thing Wes had ever said or done. He had never even gotten to the begging part with Alex. Sure they had sex but it had never become something like this. And why exactly was he thinking about his ex-wife right now?  
Travis pulled him over to the couch, placing him on the left side. Wes just obliged, dropped down and decided to stop all the thinking for a short time. He let his head rest on the couch's back, closing his eyes, letting Travis do the rest. Maybe he could imagine it was someone else when he closed his eyes.  
“Do you want me to open it or do you want to do it yourself?”  
Wes groaned, opened one eye just a little bit to see that Travis was pointing at his zipper.  
“God, just do it!”  
Travis chuckled at how impatient Wes was. He let his fingers lightly fly over the fabric out the metal, earning a first quiet moan.  
“Just open it!”  
Travis grinned as he opened the zipper teasingly slowly. Wes let out a sigh of relief as the tightness disappeared.  
“Better?”  
Wes slightly nodded and pushed himself up to make it easier for Travis to pull down his pants. As those were gone the dark haired first ghosted over Wes' thighs then, without any warning, pressed his whole hand flat in his hard cock.  
“God, Travis!”  
So much about pretending it was another person.  
“What, Wesley?”  
Wes didn't remember being called by his given name to be such a turn-on. He moaned again – this time louder than before – and bucked up his hips.  
“Just..”  
He bit his lower lip. Wes really didn't want to beg, it wasn't like him. Travis knew that. Wes also knew that Travis probably even enjoyed this as well – in his own way. Seeing Wes loosing control like this; it was something special.  
“Please, just do _something_!”  
Travis' grin widened. This was definitely entertaining. He slowly pressed his hand tighter on Wes' crotch, making him shiver.  
“Travis, please!”  
Wes sounded just like he looked – miserable.  
“Beg for it!”  
Once again Wes could hear the smirk in Travis' voice. He gulped.  
“I...”  
Wes hesitated. He didn't want to beg, it wasn't like him. But his erection was aching for more contact. For a second he seriously considered what to do.  
“Please, I beg you. Touch me!”, he finally whispered with his voice hoarse.  
Immediately Travis obeyed and let his fingertips slide over the waistband of Wes' briefs.  
“I've always known you'd wear briefs...”, Travis stated.  
Wes wondered if there was some meaning behind this when he remembered that he wanted to stop thinking. Slowly Travis pulled down the fabric.  
“Stop teasing! God!”  
“'Travis' is still fine.”, he smirked but when Wes pushed himself up again removed the pants in one movement.  
Wes' cock finally sprang free causing him to let out another long moan. Travis just stared for a moment then he chuckled.  
“Now I understand why Alex dumped you.”  
Wes blinked.  
“What?”  
He looked down at Travis who was still staring at his erection. Wes glared at him.  
“ _What_!?”  
This time it sounded much more threatening; Wes still tried to cover himself though.  
“Joke man. It was a joke. You're just fine.”  
Wes rolled his eyes before he closed the again, resting his head on the back.  
“Stop staring and do something.”  
Travis let out another laugh before he got up, then sat down next to Wes. He pulled up his left leg to turn a little bit towards Wes.  
“What...?”  
This time he didn't even bother to look.  
“Is that the only thing you can say now? Just trust me.”  
Wes groaned. He didn't want to talk any more, he wanted action – even though Travis' demand made his stomach tingle a bit. Suddenly Travis' lips were on his cheek. Wes spun around, watching Travis with wide eyes.  
“Travis?”  
“Shh.”, Travis said as he laid one finger on Wes' mouth to shut him up. When Wes wanted to protest more it was replaced by warm lips.  
Wes couldn't help but moan, especially when Travis' hand finally wrapped around his cock. He grabbed the other one's shirt, finding that it was in the way and slid it down his shoulders just to toss it somewhere on the floor.  
Slowly Wes moved his lips against Travis'. At the same pace he began to stroke Wes; softly and slowly. When Wes realized that their lips and the hand obviously were supposed to move in synch he trailed his tongue over Travis' mouth to see what would happen – he didn't regret it. The stroking went faster, the grip got tighter.  
Wes panted heavier as he began to buck up his hips in time with Travis' hand going down to get more friction. They continued with the lazy kissing until Wes' tongue was on Travis' lips again, almost demanding access. The black haired eventually gave in, parting his lips and sliding out his tongue as well. Wes' breath hitched and he let out a surprised moan when Travis' thumb stroke over the head of his cock. But everything was still oh so slow.  
“Mh, Travis. Faster!”  
Travis smiled against his lips but didn't say anything. He just fastened the pace. Wes' moaning turned louder every time Travis' hand moved up and down. His tongue had lost the fight for dominance as well so the other man was now in total control. Wes almost began to fall apart, clung to Travis' chest – probably leaving marks – when:  
“Ow!”  
Travis stopped, looking at Wes with wide eyes.  
“Sorry, did I hurt you?”  
“Your thumb, the band-aid. It hurts.”  
Travis nodded, let go of Wes' cock – he groaned in frustration – and then dropped down right in front of him. He forced Wes to spread his legs and then leaned forwards. The blonde once again didn't bother to open his eyes, he let out some questioning sound though. And then Travis' mouth was on his cock.  
“Oh god, Travis!”  
He was surprised at first – didn't think the other man would go that far – but he couldn't care less as Travis slowly began to bop his head. He didn't swallow him in completely, Wes didn't mind – it still felt amazing.  
Cautiously he moved his hip in time, testing how much Travis would take. Travis put his hands there to keep him still, just casually pulled Wes a little bit towards him. Between all his moans and gasps and curses Wes tried hard not to fuck himself in Travis' mouth, grabbing handfuls of his hair to stop himself from moving too fast and hard. But pulling focus on that meant that he would soon reach his climax – too soon to not be embarrassed about it at least a little bit – and his breath and moves quickly became less coordinated.  
“Travis, I'm... I'm gonna-”  
Travis pulled away, letting go of Wes' cock who gasped at the sudden loss of warmth and made him orgasm with two, three last strokes.  
“ _Trav_!”  
Wes cried out loudly as he came all over himself. He panted heavily, his whole body shivering. He hadn't come that hard for over a year – he had probably never come that hard ever. Travis got up and went to the kitchen to get paper towels to clean Wes up. Wes almost reached out to stop him but the other man was faster.  
When he came back he softly rubbed over Wes' stomach up to his chest that was still going up and down in a fast rhythm.  
“Calm down, man.”  
Wes forced a laugh.  
“Calm down? Really? You just sucked... You... Ugh.”  
His breath slowly evened out but the aftermath of his orgasm began to sank in – he felt a little bit like dead. All strength left his body in a sudden and he collapsed on the couch.  
“Whoa, easy. Lie down.”  
Wes did and let Travis wipe his body clean when the black haired suddenly chuckled.  
“The way it began is the way it end... Ironic.”  
Wes gulped. The word 'end' somehow made him feel uneasy – why, he didn't know. When Travis was done and he stood up, Wes tugged at his sleeve.  
“Hey, Travis.”  
He felt tiredness hit his head and body and he had difficulties to continue.  
"Shh, it's alright. This never happened, remember?"  
Wes nodded slowly, not really thinking about what Travis had said, before he drifted off to sleep. When he woke up later that night he was wrapped in a blanket.  
The pizza was gone; as was Travis.

~To be continued~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I promised I wouldn't bring one-night stands because it would probably make us both feel uncomfortable. And also I know that guy who knows a guy who owns a hotel so I pretty much know where to go if I'd want to.”  
> He winked, grinned and it infected Wes whose lips quirked into a somewhat smile.  
> “So, we're cool?”  
> Wes took a deep breath. Then he nodded slightly.  
> “We're cool.”  
> Except they were not.

For the first few minutes Wes just lay on the couch, staring into the darkness while he tried to proceed what hat happened. He had called for Travis but the other man didn't seem to be there anymore. Wes even wondered if it had been a dream but first why would he dream... this and second why would he be lying naked in their living room?  
So he came to the conclusion that he had screwed it up – again. Travis had fled. Slowly Wes turned to sit on the couch, his feet touching the floor. He buried his head in his hands. What the hell had hit him to loose control like this? Sure, he hadn't had any sexual contact with anyone for a long time so maybe he had felt a bit desperate when his body had reacted... But why would he seek the attention from Travis of all people?  
Wes sighed. He pushed the blanket aside, got his briefs and trousers that were lying on the backrest and slowly walked to his room. Somehow everything around him seemed so surreal. He really had messes up with the last person he had had left. He hadn't really had any contact with Alex lately and he could never talk about anything like that to her, Dr. Ryan or even the Captain. Usually it was Travis who helped him in tough situations... He wouldn't count on that this time.  
Quietly Wes closed the door to his room as if he didn't even want the silence to go. He sat down on his bed, looked at his clothes which he was still carrying around for a moment before he eventually at least put his briefs on. With another heavy sigh Wes let himself fall, staring at the ceiling and wondering where Travis was right in that moment. What he was doing. If he was thinking about him too.  
'This never happened.', he had said. This never happened and still Wes couldn't forget – never would. For him sex wasn't just something physical but also emotional. Sure they didn't have actual sex but it had definitely been sexual and what the hell had he been thinking?  
Wes put his left arm over his eyes, trying to block out everything. It took him a while to fall asleep and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to sleep but at some point he drifted off.

When he woke up the next morning Wes wondered again if he had maybe just dreamed everything. He came to the same conclusion – how and why should he? But he knew he couldn't just stay in bed and drown in self-pity how he'd like to. He still had a job he needed to attend. A job where he was partnered with Travis. Wes groaned. Why was everything suddenly so fucked up? They had just been about to get their shit together and start being a team again... Now they were probably starting form point zero – if not even lower.  
Wes got up, took underwear, a shirt and one of his many suits out of his closet and made his way to the bathroom. He locked it, showered. When he looked down at himself, a blush crept up Wes' face. He saw his own cock and for a split second he imagined Travis kneeling down again, licking, sucking. When realization his him, he immediately turned down the heat and hurried up to finish his ice-cold shower. He dried himself and put the first layer of clothes on when he caught his own face in the mirror. It felt horrible.  
Wes decided to not longer think about it; he put his shirt on and was just about to button it up when someone rattled at the door.  
'Shit', he thought. 'When the hell did Travis come home?'  
He wasn't ready for seeing him just yet. Wes wanted to talk the other man away but that someone at the door was faster.  
“Travis?”  
It was a female voice. Wes had never heard it before.  
“Hey, Trav! Why is your bathroom locked?”  
Wes stared at the door. Did Travis really bring a woman with him? After last night? He got dressed as fast as possible and stormed out of the room. He completely ignored the half-naked woman - she was staring at him in shock - but he glared at Travis who had just appeared in the hallway. Wes swallowed all the insults he wanted to say, took his car keys and stormed out of the apartment. The last thing he heard before he shut the door with a loud bang was the woman's voice asking  
“Who was that?”  
It didn't get better when Wes got into his car – practically Travis' dream car – or when he got to the precinct. It was as if his whole life was screaming 'Travis!' right into his face. When he got to work he first made himself a coffee – thanks to his stupid habit he actually made enough for two cups. When he came back to his seat he saw that Travis had somehow managed to get there in time. After Wes gave up to find a spare place on Travis' table he gave him the second mug, never meeting his eyes and sat down to review their latest case's files. Travis shot him his all-flashy smile but Wes ignored him.  
It wasn't until they went to eat lunch – Wes had left and the other one had followed quickly – that Travis talked to him:  
“Hey, Wes! Man, I really don't know what your problem is right now but I'd really appreciate it if you could get your shit together so we can continue doing our job.”  
Wes still didn't pay attention to him. Travis grabbed his wrist and spun him around.  
“Dammit, Wes! I know talking isn't our thing but I can see you're mad so would you at least throw some insults my way so I can figure out what you problem is?”  
Wes snapped.  
“You wanna know what my problem is? You really wanna know what my problem is? Maybe you should start with yourself? What is your problem, Travis? Do you think it's normal to-”  
Wes gulped, looked around and lowered his voice but it didn't loose anything of it's sharpness.  
“To suck off your partner and when I wake up there's a freaking women stalking around our apartment?”  
Travis looked at him with wide eyes.  
“That's...”  
“I told you not to bring your one-night stands! I don't wanna be involved in this crap. I'm always the one who has to deal with the chaos you're leaving behind.”  
There was a moment of silence.  
“This isn't about her is it?”  
“See, you don't even know her name!”  
Travis groaned.  
“Because her name doesn't matter right now.”  
Wes threw his arms in the air.  
“You never know their names.”  
And then he said something he really didn't plan to say:  
“Should I be glad you remember my name or what?”  
Both their eyes widened. Wes looked away quickly.  
“What?”  
Travis sounded just as unbelieving as Wes felt. The blonde cleared his throat.  
“Never mind. Just forget it.”  
He could feel that he was blushing.  
“I knew this wasn't about her.”  
Travis grabbed Wes' wrist again and dragged him to the near by parking lot. Wes gladly opened his car since this was much less public. At first no one wanted to make a start but eventually Travis said:  
“I thought we agreed on never mentioning it again, man.”  
Wes was looking outside, his elbow leaning near the window, his hand holding his head, covering his mouth. So when he began to talk it was less talking and more mumbling:  
“You agreed on it.”  
“I asked you and you definitely agreed.”  
Wes turned around, looking at Travis.  
“I was riding out an orgasm! I was tired. All I did was nodding to not longer have to think.”  
He watched what was happening outside again.  
“So...?”  
“I don't know. I mean I can't believe you went out and slept with a woman afterward.”  
Travis sighed.  
“I knew you would misunderstand that. Listen, I didn't have sex with her, I never would. And her name is Maya.”  
“She wore nothing more than underwear.”  
“That's... She's my foster sister okay? She had had a fight with her husband and called me. I told her she could stay with me.”  
Wes slowly turned around, his brows furrowed.  
“Really?”  
“Really.”  
Travis' voice was soft.  
“I promised I wouldn't bring one-night stands because it would probably make us both feel uncomfortable. And also I know that guy who knows a guy who owns a hotel so I pretty much know where to go if I'd want to.”  
He winked, grinned and it infected Wes whose lips quirked into a somewhat smile.  
“So, we're cool?”  
Wes took a deep breath. Then he nodded slightly.  
“We're cool.”  
Except they were not.  
“Okay, now let's get some food I feel like starving.”  
Travis immediately got out of the car, Wes followed him after he took two, three deep breaths. How could Travis even think everything was alright? They hadn't talked about this at all! At least he now knew that Travis was some kind of tactful – or he had just had bad luck.  
“Come on, man. Even that snail back there is faster than you.”  
Wes decided to think about this later and to listen to his grumbling stomach. He jogged the few yards between them.  
They continued the day as usually with just a little less of Wes' complaints. Travis seemed to notice it at some point because one or two times he would make a sarcastic comment and wait for the blonde's insolent reply but he didn't show any sign of saying something about it. So when they left the precinct in the afternoon to arrest a convicted murderer and then headed back home they hadn't made any progress at all.  
“Wanna grab dinner somewhere?”, Travis had asked but Wes really just wanted to be alone.  
This was how he ended up in an empty apartment not being able to watch TV because he would have to sit on the couch and that... let's just say he didn't forget things that easily. At some point Wes' phone ringed signalizing that he got a message.  
“Don't wait for me, gonna stay at the hotel tonight ;) T”, it said.  
Wes sighed. No, Travis hadn't got it at all. Wes sighed again – this time longer, more capitulating. He got up from where he sat at the kitchen table, downed his last glass of whiskey and made his way to the living room. Why he eventually decided to sit down on the couch he didn't know. When he remembered the night before he blamed it on the surroundings. When his body began to react and he thought it hadn't been that bad to have some sexual interaction again he blamed it on the alcohol. When his hand wandered down his body – practically on its own will – he blamed it on Travis. Because in the end everything was always Travis' fault.  
It felt good touching himself again. He hadn't done it in quite some time – hadn't felt the need to. It didn't feel as good as when Travis had done it though. He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and slid them down to his knees. Slowly his hand slid under his briefs, just gently reaching out for his own cock. His fingertips just barely brushed over the over-sensitive skin but it still made him shudder.  
There was this quiet, little voice in his head – he usually referred to it as responsibility or something alike – tried to convince him to stop, to not give in on this madness Travis had caused. But Travis had said he wouldn't come home that night and when he could have fun why should Wes not?  
His hand slid down his whole length, pressing tight against it. He turned around, lying down on the couch, pulling his feet up. He took off his pants completely as well as his briefs. Being there alone made Wes' cock beg for attention – his memories did a very good job. He put his hand back on it, first only letting it lie there then pressing then grabbing. He let out a low groan and grabbed tighter.  
When Wes stroke himself he wondered if maybe he shouldn't to this – right where he was, in their living room, on their couch. His head fell back as his hand moved faster. Yes, maybe he shouldn't do this but he couldn't care less at that moment. Another deep moan left his lips. Wes had a feeling that there were noises around him, noises that should alarm him – he didn't care. Just when someone roughly grabbed his jaw and pulled him to themselves his eyes jerked open. It was Travis!  
Wes wanted to panic, wanted to rant about how Travis had said he wouldn't come home that night, wanted to dig himself a deep hole do disappear in but those lips on his own distracted him, made his mind empty. He let out a sound of surprise when Travis pulled him up and dragged him to his bedroom, never letting their mouths loose contact.  
Wes really didn't want to join in or even enjoy this but his body seemed to be a bit mad with him to have stopped that abruptly so he soon kissed back just as eagerly. He gasped when Travis pushed him back, down on his bed. For a moment the other one did nothing, just watched him. It made him feel uncomfortable so he avoided his gaze, turning his head away. His eyes widened a bit when he saw a picture on Travis' nightstand – a photo showing the two of them back in their better days. It made his heart hurt a bit.  
Travis joined him on the bed, half of his body resting on Wes. He caressed the blonde's jaw with a few light kisses before he forced him to face him. When their lips met again it was just as rough as before. But it wasn't before Travis' hand made its way down to Wes' still fully exposed length that they realized what exactly they were doing.  
“Wait!”  
At least Wes did. Travis was now kissing down his neck so when he muffled back:  
“Why?”  
When Travis' hand grabbed Wes' cock he pushed him up by his shoulders – after he had moaned out loud.  
“I told you to stop. So, I'm just gonna grab my clothes and we'll pretend this never happened as well okay?”  
Wes didn't wait for an answer and was about to get up but Travis grabbed his wrist, holding him back.  
“I feel like I should have a word in this, too.”  
“Right, just how I had yesterday?”  
Travis pulled at Wes' wrist, bringing him closer again.  
“You did have. And besides it's your fault I'm here so deal with it.”  
“My fault!?”  
Wes freed his arm, shouting at the other man.  
“Yes, your fault. Or why do you think I'm here, huh?”  
When Wes didn't answer immediately Travis pulled up his shirt, exposing his chest. It was defined by many, many scratch marks.  
“See those? She even slapped me because I was obviously”- his fingers formed quotation marks -“making fun of her.”  
Wes narrowed his eyes, a questioning look on his face.  
“I still don't see how this is my fault.”  
He wanted to get up again, to flee but Travis was faster, grabbing his wrist out of habit.  
“Whom do you think they're from, huh?”  
The accusation in Travis' voice was way too obvious to ignore it or to pretend he didn't hear it. So automatically Wes' eyes widened and he looked at the marks with an undefinable look. Gently he let his fingertips brush over the red skin. Travis hissed quietly, Wes' hand jerked away.  
“Sorry...”, he mumbled.  
He wasn't even sure himself whether he apologized for having hurt Travis of for ruining his date. Travis took Wes' other wrist as well and suddenly pressed him forcefully down into the sheets. The blonde suddenly was very aware of the fact that he was still not wearing any pants at all.  
”Travis?”  
Travis' eyes darkened.  
“Since it's your fault I think you should make up for my loss.”  
Wes gasped. Was Travis really implying what he thought he was?  
“Don't act so surprised. You know I saw you just now and you really don't seem to be too averse to it are you, Wes?”  
He gasped again when Travis' thigh pressed against his cock, his hip involuntarily moved up to meet him halfway. Travis smirked.  
“Just let me do it, baby, and we'll forget about it in the morning.”  
Then he kissed Wes again – rough and hard in the beginning but it soon became softer, more gentle, more intimate. By then Travis' whole body lay flatly on Wes'. When he got aware of that for a short moment the blonde wanted to do what he always did first – protest – but when he felt Travis' growing erection against his leg, his mind went blank. He kissed back with such euphoria, he didn't remember kissing Alex had ever been such a pleasure.  
His own cock came back to life as they spent more minutes of kissing and their hands began to wander. At first it was only Travis, working on the buttons of Wes' shirt – just like he had the day before – but soon his own one was pulled up a bit as well. When all buttons were undone Travis re-arranged them so he was sitting in the blonde's lap, knees tight on each side of his hip. Wes followed him in a sitting position, didn't want to loose the sensation of those lips. Easily the fabric fell off his shoulders and left him completely naked.  
Travis gave him another kiss before he felt the hem of his own shirt was pulled up and over his head. There were even more marks than Wes had thought. He gently trailed his lips and tongue over some of the redder ones causing Travis to shiver. His hands were still busy as well. While Travis grabbed strands of blonde hair, Wes explored his broad back, the strong arms, the very well shaped abs until his fingertips brushed over the waistband. Wes gulped, hesitated but Travis pressed another reassuring kiss on his lips and all doubts were gone.  
Button and zipper stood open in just a few seconds and Wes pulled the pants down only just right beneath Travis' ass, grabbing handfuls of well formed flesh. They both groaned from the touch.  
'This really shouldn't be that much fun.', the blonde thought as his hands slid under the fabric of Travis' shorts. He squeezed again, his fingers just lightly brushing over the sensitive skin of the other one's hole. Travis pushed him away.  
“Whoa, hold on! We're not gonna so it that way!”  
Wes raised his brows.  
“Not this way?”  
“I told you you owe me one, I'm not gonna bottom!”  
“Really? I owe you? Because you couldn't keep your fingers to yourself?”  
Wes shook his head.  
“I definitely didn't start this.”  
“You wanted to cook with me, that makes a start for me.”  
He snapped.  
“You bought condoms! You didn't even pay for them! So I should be the one using them.”  
Travis wanted to protest some more but Wes brushed his fingers around his hole again with the words “Case closed!” then he pushed a little inside.  
“Oh god!”, Travis mumbled, his head falling on Wes' shoulder.  
“See, I'm even doing you a favor.”  
Travis groaned to show his non-agreement but it soon turned into some more moaning. The he pushed Wes back into the sheets, kissing him again. It was messy, all teeth and tongues and wet but it couldn't be more perfect at the same time. Wes took the opportunity to slide down Travis' pants down to his knees.  
When he was stuck Travis pulled him back up for another kiss. Wes trailed his hands over every inch of Travis' body he could reach. He touched his back, arms, hips, ass – Travis bat his hand away – and eventually reached for his cock – it was already pretty hard. Wes thought he shouldn't find it that sexy how Travis looked in that moment – bent over him, kissing him, letting out quiet moans in sync with himself. Wes' fingers first only brushed over the soft skin but he soon grabbed tightly. Travis choked on his own low moans when it caught him off-guard and Wes immediately flipped them over. He didn't even know where this all came from but when he pulled down Travis' pants completely he decided that this somehow was some kind of competition and he definitely wouldn't loose. When Travis was completely naked Wes couldn’t help but stare for a while.  
“Like what you see?”  
Travis grinned. That bastard! As a punishment he once again took hold of the other one’s cock. Travis widened his eyes, gasped and was obviously waiting for more but Wes just held still. He knew himself that this was the worst – feeling the touch but needing more. The competition was on again. They had made an unspoken agreement that giving in meant loosing – Travis knew that as well.  
He didn’t do anything for a while, trying not to thrust in this so inviting hand until he decided to play dirty as well. So he reached for Wes’ cock himself and treated him just the same.  
They rolled on their sides – groaning at the change in angles – so both had good access. Wes tilted his head forwards and Travis got the hint, met him halfway. They shared more lazy kisses, still waiting for the other one to make a thoughtless movement so they could get what they needed themselves.  
Wes’ heart beat faster as he waited for to happen. He slightly nipped on Travis’ bottom lip causing an almost silent whimper. From then on their kisses became messier again, technique didn’t matter as much. And at some point they forgot about their little ‘competition’ and in the end neither of them could tell who had given up first – it was obviously always the other one.  
At first they were just teasingly squeezing but soon started to actually stroke each other. Wes’ other hand was resting on Travis’ back, keeping him as close as possible. Travis held Wes’ neck with his other hand, pulling him in even more, making the kiss more passionate. It seemed as if they had completely forgotten that actual sex even existed. They brought each other to the edge with just kissing and stroking and when they both reached their climax they silently agreed to come together, screamed each others' name at the same time.  
When Wes cleaned himself and a sleeping Travis from their mixed cums he caught himself thinking that the face Travis had made when he had had his orgasm was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He blamed it on his own tiredness.  
They didn’t talk about it afterward but somehow it happened again. It was after their next arrest, about two weeks later. It had been an emotionally harsh case, involving a divorce and a kid. Neither of them had wanted to talk about anything when they had come home that night at 3 am. They had sat down in the kitchen, drank a few whiskeys in silence until their gazes had met and suddenly they were jerking each other off in the living room.  
After that it became an almost weekly occasion. They never said anything about it. One would make a move – it usually was Travis – the other one would understand and play along. After a month Wes gave the first blow job of this life – one of Travis’ foster mothers had died and he needed a special treatment. They never went all the way though.  
Wes didn’t even know himself what kind of relationship they were having. They weren’t a couple – definitely not. But he didn’t want them to be just like ‘friends-with-benefits’ as well. Sex still meant something to him; he wanted it to mean something. Travis obviously didn’t. He was still doing his one-night stand thing and when he didn’t get a woman Wes would have to do as a substitute. Those were the nights Wes actually hated what they were doing but he kept quiet.  
The group began to sense a difference after about two months. It was Dakota who mentioned that Wes looked somewhat more vivid and yet more tired. They had guessed he had a new girlfriend and it had been the first time Travis hadn’t made a sarcastic comment.  
It wasn’t until one month later that Wes lost his patience. Travis had been out for three days in a row – he hadn’t gotten a woman in three days is a row as well. Which meant they also did their ‘thing’ three days in a row and Wes didn’t know whether he was okay with it or not. He had admit to himself a few weeks ago that yes, maybe he quite liked what they were doing – as long as he wasn’t just a substitute – and maybe he even saw Travis with other eyes so he couldn’t stand the fact that he was still going after women.  
So in the third night Wes was starting a bit more active than usually. He had known the moment Travis’ bike had roared in the nearby parking lot what would happen that night – or at least what he was planning to do. When Travis opened the door to their apartment Wes almost attacked him he dragged him inside, slammed the door close behind him just to press him against it. Wes’ lips found what they were aiming for instantly. Travis let out a surprised gasp but soon kissed back eagerly, trying to take control. But Wes wouldn’t do this – not this time. That night was his night and he would finally get what he wanted, what he needed. Wes dragged him to his own bedroom.  
Actually this already was a first since they had always only done it in Travis’ room or the living room. Which was why Travis seemed pretty surprised when he got pushed onto the sheets. Wes crawled upon him and started pulling up the hem of his shirt without any hesitation. Travis just watched him for a second, doubt obvious on his face but he soon gave in. He sat up when Wes was stuck in his movements and the shirt landed on the floor. Wes began to kiss Travis’ neck, his collarbones, his shoulders. Travis moaned quietly, already begging for more. And this time Wes even granted him the wish and already let his fingers slide over the waistband, not wasting any more time. The button flew open within seconds and soon Travis was completely naked, jeans and short joining the shirt on the floor.  
Wes trailed his lips, teeth and tongue all over Travis’ body. As always starting with his neck he slowly made his way down to his hips. He traveled over Travis’ nipples – made him remember by sucking and licking them harder than ever before.  
Wes spent time on the muscly chest, biting with force, leaving marks all over the body while Travis was lost in moans. Wes made his way further down, caressing every rib on its own, trailing his tongue from start to end, tickling Travis as his hair brushed his sides. He moved on and teased Travis' hip bones with many little bites. He just lightly pulled on the soft skin but it was enough to make him shiver. Wes grinned. He loved to be the one to make Travis come undone and not the other way around.  
He followed the shape of Travis' hip to the side, then moved further down. He caressed his thigh with feather-light kisses, his hair tickled Travis once again – this time he did it on purpose – which made him moan louder than before.  
Travis bucked up his hips, practically begging Wes for more friction and Wes teasingly trailed his tongue in a circle around his privates. This left Travis in nothing but desperate groans. He grabbed Wes' hair and tried to move his head to the right place and even though he could have managed to win over him Wes let him.  
From the moment Wes' lips touched his cock he was an absolute mess – moaning, flailing, grabbing hand-fulls of hair, bobbing Wes' head up and down himself. In the few weeks they were doing this kind of thing Wes had learned exactly what Travis liked and what he didn't. He licked over the head of Travis' already very hard cock, tasting the pre-cum, and Travis' hand kept still for a moment, released Wes' hair. Wes grinned before he opened his mouth again to get more of the other one. Yes, this went exactly as he had planned. He teased Travis with trailing his tongue along the whole length, Travis squirmed a bit.  
Wes took the opportunity to put his right hand under Travis' butt, distracting him with his left one and his mouth still working on his cock. Wes' right index finger was searching, testing. Obviously he had never done this before but even though he was mad with Travis he didn't want to hurt him. So he continued sucking Travis' cock while his right hand was slowly circling his hole. Wes waited a bit, looked for any reaction but Travis was so lost in the blow-job he was getting, he didn't pay any attention to anything that happened around him. Just when Wes pushed a bit inside his eyes snapped open.  
“What the hell man?”  
Wes withdrew his head, his mouth making a little popping sound. He locked eyes with Travis and his whole face mirrored pure lust – it made Travis' breath hitch. Wes didn't answer.  
“What the hell are you doing partner?”  
Wes' expression didn't change at all when he said:  
“What do you think?”  
Travis gulped. Wes usually wasn't the one to tease, to be sexual. It made him feel a bit uncomfortable but turned on even more at the same time.  
“You didn't answer.”  
Travis' eyes widened a bit but then he started actually laughing.  
“Okay man, whatever we're doing here...? We're not starting dirty talk!”  
And for a moment Wes was being Wes again and smiled that smile of his that could melt hearts – even though he didn't know it himself. The way he would close his eyes out of embarrassment and how the ends of his lips would pull up and show his shiny teeth. Travis hadn't gotten to see this look often since it had usually been meant for Alex – it somehow caught him off-guard. He pulled him up to his face again and pressed their lips together.  
Travis tightly grabbed Wes' collar, keeping him close until his grip loosened and he started working on the shirt's buttons. These shirt of Wes could really be both: blessing and curse. Sure, they looked great on him with their skin-tightness and if you wanted to do a long-lasting, romantic foreplay they were perfect to kiss every single inch of one's chest. Neither of them wanted to do foreplay, the buttons still needed to be opened. Travis considered just ripping it open for a second but if he did that he knew he wouldn't get anything that night – Wes still loved his shirts.  
So Travis just fumbled with the buttons to open them as fast as possible and both of them sighed in relief when he finally managed to. Wes easily shrugged the shirt off, once again exposed his glorious chest to his partner. Travis absentmindedly licked his lips, then he gulped.  
“So, what now man?”  
Wes tried not to be too obvious but he could even feel the blush creep up his face.  
“We're gonna..”  
He corrected himself:  
“I am going to finish what I started before.”  
Travis chuckled.  
“Don't you think you should kinda, you know, ask me first?”  
“Ask you what, Travis? To get the sex that's been taken from you the last three days for which you used me as a substitute?”  
Wes smirked.  
“Sorry partner, but tonight it's my turn.”  
And Wes bent down again to kiss Travis – hard and messy. His hand wandered back down to massage Travis' cock and balls but he batted his hand away.  
“Wait.”  
Wes groaned.  
“What, Travis?”  
“I don't know man. It's just... We didn't go all the way until now for a reason right?”  
Wes actually was surprised.  
“Really? That thought actually never came to my mind before. So stop making excuses.”  
Wes pressed his lips against Travis' again, tried to avoid talking because he really wasn't in the mood to right now. Travis pushed him away.  
“I mean it.”  
Wes sighed exasperatedly and let himself fall on the cushion next to Travis, face first.  
“Considering you even manage to get turned on by your dates when I'm calling you're pretty much a turn off right now.”, Wes muffled into his pillow.  
“Sorry man, I just really think we shouldn't do this.”  
Wes rolled around so he was lying on his back as well. Both stared at the ceiling as they were talking.  
“Should've thought about that before you started this.”  
They were silent for a while.  
“You know I could say you agreed that this wasn't my fault?”  
“I know. But I told you you shouldn't do anything so it practically is your fault.”  
“But I didn't start it.”  
“You were the one who all of a sudden unbuttoned my shirt!”  
When Travis protested his voice was about an octave higher than usually, just like it always happened when he was getting annoyed – faked or not:  
“You didn't stop me!”  
“Of course I did, you just didn’t listen to me – as always.”  
“You know, there’s a reason when I ignore you. You just don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
Wes laughed without any hint of amusement in his voice.  
“I know very well what I’m talking about when I tell someone to stop touching me. I’m still wondering why I didn’t shoot you by now.” he added more to himself than Travis.  
“Why?”  
“Why what?”  
Wes turned around just to see Travis looking him right in the eyes.  
“Why didn’t you shoot me?”  
Wes gulped.  
“I just told you I don’t know. Probably the cop and lawyer in me…”  
He suddenly sat up.  
“But it’s over now, I’m not playing your substitute anymore. I got better ways to spend my time.”  
He picked up his shirt that was lying on Travis’ legs.  
“Wes…”  
“And put some pants on, you’re gonna catch a cold. And I really don’t need to see you like this right now.”  
He turned around, about to leave his own room.  
“Hey, Wes. I-“  
“Be out of my room when I get back.”  
Well, on second thought this didn’t exactly go as planned.  
“Where are you going?”  
“It never matters where you leave to does it?”  
Wes was standing under the doorframe when he stopped again.  
“I’m gonna go to a bar, have some drinks, maybe meet a nice girl.”  
That was when Travis realized.  
“A girl? Wait, you… You’re jealous, right? You can’t stand not being the only one!”  
Wes was frozen on the spot. He had never used the word ‘jealous’ when thinking about that topic – for obvious reasons. And of course Travis was wrong. But if he was wrong why was Wes tearing up in that moment? He was angry, he made himself believe. Angry, that Travis would even think something like that. When he laughed a bitter laugh and started talking his voice was shaking.  
“I always knew you were very full of yourself, Travis, but this? Really?”  
He heard the blanket rustle but he couldn’t move.  
“I mean, did you ever look at us? Our boss even made us go to couple’s therapy we hate each other so much.”  
Suddenly Travis’ hands are on my shoulders – they felt heavier than usually.  
“I don’t hate you. And you don’t hate me. We both know that.  
Wes swallowed hard when Travis replaced his right hand with his head.  
“If you don’t hate me let me do it.” Wes demanded.  
Travis’ head shot back up, his hand left Wes’ shoulder.  
“Do what exactly?” Travis asked suspiciously.  
“You know exactly what I mean.”  
“Wes…”  
Travis sounded almost sad, making Wes spin around again to face him.  
“What is your problem Travis? Here’s the thing: We do it or you leave me alone.”  
“The problem is that I don’t hate you!”  
Travis was shouting now – whether because of anger or exasperation Wes couldn’t tell.  
“If I hated you I wouldn’t mind okay? Because it wouldn’t matter. But you’re my friend, Wes. You’re my fricking best friend and I like it that way. I don’t want us to screw things up again.”  
Wes bit his bottom lip and didn’t know what to say or do for a few minutes.  
“Then why did you even start this crap, huh? You know very well that I told you to stop. You didn’t. Now don’t fucking blame this on me!”  
They were both shouting now, the frustration taking over so much neither of them realized they were still at least half-naked.  
“I don’t blame anything on anyone, you are the one who suddenly felt the urge to shake things up when they were fine.”  
“Fine? You think it’s fine when we just casually jerk each other off and then pretend…”  
Wes trailed off.  
“You know what? Of course you think this is okay because you never do it any other way! No surprise none of your dates ever wants to talk to you again. You just don’t care about others!”  
Travis snapped.  
“Hold on, Wes! You want to tell me you are better?”  
“At least I don’t break peoples’ hearts just because nobody loved me when I was a child.”  
“Oh, you’re back to that.” Travis noted with no emotion in his voice whatsoever.  
“Out of arguments huh?”  
“Out of arguments!? I don’t even need arguments, I am not discussing this with you. This whatever-it-was is over and you obviously will never know what real love is because you’re un-capable of it.”  
Wes turned back around to leave his room.  
“’Real love?’ Is that why Alex left you?”  
Wes clenched his teeth, let his shirt fall and formed his hands to fists to calm down but it didn’t help. In less than a second he had spun around, tackled Travis and landed them back down on his bed.  
“This was not the reason so shut up!”  
Travis, being surprised at first, gained back his confidence quickly.  
“you mean she really left you because you became a cop and she couldn't live with the fear? Wes, wake up! We've been partners now for more than five years, she wanted a divorce about a year ago. Didn't that ever make you wonder?”  
Wes' hands that had been pressing Travis' shoulders in the mattress loosened their grip and he sat up straight, looking miserable.  
“I know, Travis. I know.”  
His voice was calm, almost too calm and Travis immediately felt a bit guilty. He reached up, cupped Wes' cheeks with both of his hands and pulled him down. Wes let him and when their lips were only one or two inches apart Travis whispered “I'm sorry.” before he kissed him.  
In the beginning Wes struggled, tried to get free but Travis held him still, kept him in place and soon the blonde gave up and gave in. When they broke the kiss after a few minutes the first thing Wes did was asking:  
“Did you just apologize? Like for real?”  
Travis groaned and let go of him.  
“See, this is why we can't have nice things.”  
Wes rolled his eyes at the quote.  
“Nice things? You will get nice things now that you've kissed me again.” Wes said.  
He had meant it to be mockingly, so his mind went somewhat blank when Travis nodded slightly and determinedly said:  
“Ok. Even though I'm still not comfortable when you still have feelings for your ex-wife.”  
“What!? I don't have feelings for Alex anymore! It still is discouraging when you remember that at some point the woman you married doesn't want you anymore. I'm over her I promise!”  
It took Wes a few more moments to grasp what Travis had said as well and even when his mind proceeded it, he was just becoming more suspicious:  
“Why did you suddenly change your mind? You're not doing this out of pity are you? Because if you are, I swear to god this time I'll shoot you for good.”  
Travis chuckled.  
“Calm down, man. No I am not doing this out of pity. I get that you don't have feelings for Alex anymore. But I have to admit that you're kind of sexy when you're that determined.”  
Wes groaned but also laughed his adorable laugh – the one almost only Alex got to see before.  
“Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that.”  
After a few seconds of silence he added:  
“So it's going to happen again?”  
“We'll see afterward.” Travis answered vaguely in a soft voice before they kissed again. It was slow and promising and when their bare chests touched both remembered that they had already been at this point earlier this evening. Then Travis broke the kiss.  
“Wait here, I'll be right back.”  
He sat up and left the room just as he was.  
“Travis, where are you going? And put some clothes on for god's sake!”  
Wes groaned. Had he messed up again? Was Travis fleeing him? But his doubts were soon proven wrong as he heard him come back. Wes faced his door again and when Travis appeared under it he didn't quite know what to make of his expression.  
“Uhm, I know I said we would do it but...”  
Wes frowned when Travis trailed off. He seemed somewhat embarrassed but Wes still didn't get what was going on. Then Travis blurted out:  
“I think neither of us is okay with bare-backing.”  
Wes' first reaction was to laugh which made the other one feel even more uncomfortable.  
“What are you laughing about?”, Travis asked aggressively. Wes tried to suppress the laughter by coughing but there were still giggles leaving his lips.  
“I'm sorry. It's just... You do look kind of ridiculous, like a wet poodle. You know, standing there naked like this with...”  
When Wes looked closer he finally realized that Travis was holding in his hand – and what that something was.  
“You brought lubricant?”  
Travis tossed him the bottle.  
“Of course I did. And never ever say 'lubricant' again...”  
His fingers formed quotation signs.  
“That sounds horrible.”  
Wes opened the lid curiously and poured some of the gel over his right index and middle fingers and distributed it with his thumb.  
“Weird...”, he mumbled while Travis crawled back on the bed, next to him.  
“Never used some?”  
Wes shook his head, massaging his own fingers with the lube.  
“Well, seems like today's not your day as well...”  
The blonde looked at him, watched him for a few seconds until Travis asked “What?” and then reached over him.  
“You said we'll do it so we're going to do it.”  
While Wes was fumbling in his bedside table, their naked chests pressed tightly against each other, Travis asked:  
“So you're okay with bare-backing!?”  
Wes even stopped in his searching just to give Travis a look.  
“What? Of course not. Who knows how many women you-”  
“I've always been safe! Don't be like that.”  
“Like what? Ah, there it is.”  
Wes triumphantly held up a little carton. He shifted his weight and rolled back onto the blanket. Lying next to him again he showed Travis what he had just gotten out of the drawer. Travis was actually surprised when he noticed that it was the package of condoms he had bought months ago when they had gone grocery shopping.  
“So that's where they were...”  
Wes just shrugged.  
“Well you never gave me the money and one day when I found them in the car I just put them in there.”  
Travis considered what Wes had just said.  
“So you planned on using them?”  
“I paid for them why would I throw them away?”  
Travis shook his head in disbelief but chuckled at the same time. Then he bent over to Wes to press a soft kiss on the edge of his mouth.  
“Are we gonna do this now or what?”  
The blonde answered with another kiss – more passionate, more reassuring. He rolled his body over until he was completely lying on him, not only pressing their bodies together but also Travis' wrists in the pillow. The kiss became more demanding and as Wes placed some pecks on Travis' cheeks, nose and jaw from time to time they both felt the tingle in their stomachs grow stronger. When Wes realized that Travis was becoming hard as well he shifted his weight and slowly slid his right hand down the other's body. He broke the kiss to look Travis in his so special, blue eyes, asking for permission.  
“Just do it already before I change my mind.”  
Wes smiled because even though it was hard to see he knew that Travis was blushing. So he slowly, cautiously circled Travis' hole again before he pushed his still lube-wet finger just a little bit inside. Travis gasped, immediately clenching and pushing his hip forward to get rid of this new, strange feeling. Wes pressed him down with his left hand.  
“God, just relax, Travis.”  
Travis gave him a look.  
“Relax!? Next time you try and take a finger down your ass and relax!”  
Wes stopped, gulped.  
“Next time?”  
“Ugh, just go on.”  
Travis covered his face with his arm, hiding his embarrassment. Wes took it away.  
“I want you to look at me. And please try to relax.”  
Travis took two, three deep breaths, then nodded slowly.  
“Okay, spread your legs.”  
“You want me to-?”  
“Spread your legs, yes. Either that or you stop complaining.”  
Travis thought about it for a second.  
“No, it's fine. I'll stop complaining.”  
Wes groaned.  
“Gosh, Travis! You will have to eventually.”  
He crawled back a bit and took Travis' leg to move it himself. Travis struggled, didn't let him.  
“We can't do it like that you know.”  
Travis loosened up a bit but not enough.  
“It's gonna be uncomfortable and it's gonna hurt more.” Wes stated but Travis still didn't give up completely.  
“You know, I won't stop just because you say it hurts. You're a cop goddammit, don't be such a girl!”  
That was the point when Travis actually spread his legs. Not because Wes was right – obviously – but because he dared him. And he couldn't have that. When Wes had repositioned himself between his thighs he asked with a smirk:  
“Now, that wasn't too hard was it?”  
Travis narrowed his eyes but immediately widened them again when Wes pushed his finger back in.  
“You could've at least warned me!”  
“Wouldn't have missed that face for anything in the world!”  
Wes smiled, Travis gave him another look.  
“Okay, I am going to do it again now.” Wes explained, speaking slowly and clearly. Travis rolled his eyes.  
“I can't believe I'm actually having you between my legs while you act like a 5-year-old.”  
Wes once again pushed his finger inside Travis' hole, making him gasp.  
“I can't believe this is the only way to shut you up. It's like you're craving for it.”  
“Just go on!”  
Wes was a bit confused for a moment – Travis would usually protest about a comment like that – but obeyed. His index finger made its way further in by one inch then stopped, giving Travis time to get used to it. They continued this method until Wes' whole finger was buried in him. Both of them didn't do anything, just let the sensation sink in until Wes said:  
“Weird...”  
Travis couldn't help but laugh.  
“You suggested this.”  
“I didn't say it was bad but weird. I'm going to move now, okay?”  
“No, wai-“  
But Wes didn’t wait and already bent his index finger, making Travis gasp and squirm.  
“Fuck!”  
For a second Wes hesitated, wasn’t sure whether to continue or to stop. When he didn’t come to a conclusion he asked:  
“You okay?”  
Travis groaned something that was impossible to understand.  
“What?”  
“Yes, no go on!”  
Once again Travis covered his eyes with his lower arm and this time Wes let him. He moved his finger again, bending it in every direction possible before he slowly pulled out just so slam it back inside. The sound Travis made was a mix of surprise and pleasure Wes decided, so he did it again and again. They built a steady rhythm – Wes moving in and out, Travis meeting him halfway. After a few minutes of panting and moaning Travis managed to say between breaths:  
“Another one!”  
Wes stared at him, mouth gaping open.  
“Did you just…?”  
“Yes I did. Now do something before I lose interest.”  
And there it was again – Wes smile. He slowly pulled his index finger out completely and prepared his middle finger next to it at Travis’ hole.  
“You sure?”  
Travis groaned.  
“God, Wes. Just loose up a bit will you? Did I ever demand something like that from you without meaning it?”  
Wes seriously thought about it.  
“Just pretend I didn’t and go on!”  
And without further hesitation Wes obliged and pressed both finger inside. Travis gasped, unsure of how to deal with this new sensation but he soon relaxed. Wes pushed inside, pulled outside, scissored his fingers until Travis literally begged for a third one. When even that wasn’t enough anymore things became serious. Wes’ pants got tighter and tighter every second and he could see the other one grow in anticipation too. When the blonde started unbuttoning his trousers Travis reached forward, did it himself.  
It was a mess again. Neither one was capable enough to remove the clothing in an easy way and it just made them both get more impatient. It took them some time to pull Wes’ pants just below his knees but that didn’t stop Travis from asking:  
“Lube!”  
Wes still struggled out of his briefs when the word reached his mind.  
“Lube?”  
“Yes, lube. Where is it?”  
The briefs were tossed aside.  
“I put it right next to you.”  
Travis patted the blanket all around himself but couldn’t find anything.  
“It isn’t here.”  
“It has to be there.”  
“But it isn’t. Take a look yourself if you don’t believe me.”  
Wes did look himself, feeling around Travis. He leaned forward to search for the bottle on the head side of the bed right next to the dark, curly hair. He lay further down until their legs, stomachs, chests, their whole bodies were touching. When they realized just how close they were, somehow the silence that had covered them suddenly felt awkward. They stared at each other until Wes exclaimed “Got it!” and pulled the lube out from under the pillow. And even though he could have ended the whole touching he didn’t move again – in fact he even scooped closer to press another kiss on Travis’ lips. It felt different than before.  
In this moment both of them suddenly completely processed that they were about to have sex and even though they didn’t like to admit it they got excited – very excited. They kissed again, now almost used to the whole movement, while Travis fumbled open the bottle and Wes grabbed for the condoms that stood on his nightstand. They didn’t even stop when the blonde tried to roll the rubber on his hard cock or when Travis took Wes’ trembling hands away to help him. They didn’t stop when Wes poured lube all over the condom, when he shortly brought his fingers back up Travis’ hole to prep him one last time or when he positioned himself between Travis’ thighs.  
When they had found the right angle Wes pushed in – slowly but determined. At some point Travis’ hands on his waist stopped him and they took a few deep breaths but that didn’t last for long. It still took way too much time before he was completely buried inside the other one for his taste.  
“Fuck, Wes!” Travis moaned when he was aware of that fact as well.  
Wes bit his lower lip as he started to move out slowly.  
“I’m about to.”  
Travis almost choked on his chuckle when Wes thrust his hip forward – fast and hard. From then on they were lost in lust, passion, heat and pleasure. Wes fastened his pace more and more, making them both moan louder than they had ever heard each other before. When the blonde hit Travis’ prostate he felt him claw all over his chest all over his chest and knew he would have marks the next days – he couldn’t care less.  
They quickly felt their climaxes scoop closer – no wonder with all the foreplay. Wes’ grip on the other’s hips got tighter and Travis was clenching around him every now and then to prevent himself from coming. None wanted to admit that their orgasms were already getting closer but as Travis pulled Wes down for another kiss – his cock trapped between their stomachs – he came all over the both of them, tightening around Wes, making him come undone after two more thrusts as well.  
When Wes had pulled out they lay on his bed next to each other – their arms touching – and tried to even out their breaths. The panting slowly became more quiet and more rhythmic again and Wes felt the urge to reach out his finger and intertwine them with Travis’. He was scared though. He didn’t know how the other one would react. Whether he would just go with it or shove him away, yelling at him what the hell he was doing, what he was thinking. Either way Wes needed to know where his place was, what they were now.  
When his fingertips brushed over Travis’ palm he could feel his partner flinch. He could feel him think, could feel him smile, could feel him grab his hand. Wes let out the breath he hadn’t known he was holding and smiled. He hadn’t felt that happy in quite a long time. His heart was beating faster, his stomach was tingling and his hands were probably trembling again. All in all he felt like a school girl. But Travis was genuinely holding his hand and he couldn’t help himself but lean over to kiss the other one a last time before he fell asleep his head on the broad chest.

~To be continued~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, I spent so much time on this chapter I don't even remember everything that happened XD
> 
> Next chapter is going to have more banter and bickering again. I love writing that :D And it's gonna have some more therapy group ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Okay, first of all I feel the need to clarify that it only happened once. We're not even sure ourselves if it was an accident or not."
> 
> Mr. Dumont looked at them.
> 
> "What do you think?"
> 
> "Well, all I know is that every time I want to talk about it Travis finds a distraction."
> 
> "So you tried to talk about it?"
> 
> Wes looked at Dr. Ryan.
> 
> "I did, yes. Travis didn't so much."

When they woke up the next morning it was awkward. Travis was the first to come back to consciousness. Feeling soft hair tickling his chest and having his arm wrapped around someone else's body wasn’t exactly news to him but it felt different. It was the lack of boobs pressed against his body that made him remember what had happened the night before. With wide eyes he stared at the short, blonde strains that belonged to his naked partner right next to him. Travis tried to wriggle his right arm and leg – they must have somehow entangled them while sleeping - away from under Wes but when he shifted the blonde a bit he just snuggled even closer.

He swore under his breath as he realized that he would have to wake Wes up or wait until he would wake up on his own. According to his condition at that moment Travis guessed that the ladder would take some time. But when he gently grabbed Wes' shoulder to shake him he still wasn't sure that having him awake was a good idea at all. It was too late though as Wes groaned and rubbed his eyes just a few seconds later. 

When he opened them he was looking right at Travis, the looking growing into staring, eyes widening until he shuffled back on the bed with a loud “Whoa!”, almost hit his head on the nightstand and landed on the floor with a thump. Travis leaned over the edge of the bed – gladly realized that Wes wasn't hurt – and showed him a wide grin.

“Morning, sleepyhead.”

Wes shot him a glare and groaned again, this time in pain. Travis offered him a hand and against all odds Wes even took it.

***

At the breakfast table – Wes had insisted that they ate at least something – the only sounds to hear were those of their knives clattering on their plates. Both were convinced that silence had never been that awkward between them. Not even when Wes had walked in on Travis and a ginger, very loud woman when he had been in his trailer for the first time. They had ignored each other for three days until there had been found a woman without her left ring finger and a husband running – since then he had always knocked.

This time it was different. Both knew they would have to talk about it eventually and it was Wes who decided that it was the sooner the better. He put down his knife, watched Travis eat his whole toast with two bites and then announced.

“Travis, we need to talk.”

Travis stared at him, chewed, swallowed. Then he shook his head.

“Do you even know how much cliché lies in this sentence?”

“Really Travis? You know what? Just hurry and eat up, we have to go to work.”

Wes stood up, kept his toast between his teeth and put his dishes in the dishwasher. He took a bite, then looked back to Travis who was shoving all the bread in his mouth at once.  
Wes wrinkled his nose, furrowed his brows and shook his head.

“You really are impossible.”

When Wes grabbed his keys, Travis stood up with a grin, left his dishes where they were and followed the blonde outside.

***

Some of their colleagues eyed them suspiciously when they arrived at the precinct. They used to come to work together now – it made the most sense since they shared a flat and everyone knew about it – but usually they were already arguing. So when they just walked next to each other silently and even took their seats without making any noise Captain Sutton came up to them.

“What did you guys do this time?”

Travis looked up from the files he was just about to review, looked at Wes who only barely shrugged and pulled his brows up and then looked back to the Captain, shaking his head.

“Cap, why do you assume the worst when we're just nice to each other?”

“Probably because you aren't arguing for once...”

He stayed a little longer, let his eyes dart from Wes to Travis and back before he turned around and walked off. Even though he didn't make another comment he shook his head just slightly.

“When you're done with the paperwork Jonelle wants to talk to you guys.”

The two detectives looked at each other. Travis pulled his brows up and Wes just shrugged. Neither knew what the coroner could possibly want from them.

“Is there a chopped body I don't know about yet?”

Wes just shrugged again and focused back on the files in front of him.

***

After they were finished with reviewing countless files from their last case – they really needed to stop shooting everything – they decided to grab lunch first before they went to see Jonelle. Actually Travis had decided so since he knew that seeing the coroner would just end in some insults again and he needed a full stomach to cope the growing bond between Wes and her.  
When they left the precinct Travis casually asked:

“So, Thai today, isn't it?”

Wes shot Travis a look.

“Thai? Seriously? How many times do I have to tell you that I hate Thai food?”

“But you always eat it nonetheless...”

Wes sighed.

“Because I'm the one who has to drive and has to pay for the fuel so I prefer just one stop. And also I want to eat pasta today, we didn't have pasta for two weeks.”

He unlocked the car and they got in. Travis waited before he buckled himself up.

“If you really hate it that much and you're the one who drives... Why do we still eat Thai?”

He turned to see that Wes was avoiding his gaze, then started the engine.

“You do it for me...”

Wes concentrated on the street when he pulled out of the parking lot, not waiting for Travis to get comfortable or safe in his seat.

“I don't do it for you, I do it for myself. Nobody wants to hear you nagging all day long.”

Travis tried to pout but failed miserably as the edges of his mouth pulled up and Wes could practically feel it even though his eyes were on the street.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

He side-eyed Travis long enough to see that he was right and the grin on his face grew wider and wider.

“Stop grinning like an idiot or I will start talking. About last night.”

Wes peeked again to see that Travis' expression didn't falter – it was more of the opposite.

“Now that's funny. You talking about sex... I'd really love to hear that.”

“You do realize that I've been a married man, right?”

Travis even had the guts to laugh now.

“Yes I do. And still I haven't heard you actually talk about _sex_ even once.”

Wes bit his lower lip as he turned the car in the parking lot of an Italian restaurant slash snack bar.

“It wasn't just sex.”

He stopped the car and Travis hesitated another second before he asked:

“No? What was it then?”

The taste of blood made Wes aware of the fact that he was still chewing on his lip. He sighed, then turned around to face his partner.

“I don't know okay? I don't know how this happened or what it was.”

He wasn't really sure but the look on Travis' face seemed to grow more and more uncomfortable. Were they really about to have this conversation right now? He unbuckled himself to be more comfortable.

“Look, I have an idea of what I want it to be but I don't want our work to be effected by this just because we think of it differently.”

The two detectives locked eyes, just watched each other for a few moments until Wes turned away.

“Geez, Travis, say something. I feel like an idiot right now. I thought you were the one...”

He trailed off when Travis took his chin between his right thumb and index finger. He gently tugged, so Wes turned around and saw an intense look in Travis' eyes that somehow made him swallow. Then he remembered the sentence he hadn't finished:

“Who's good at talking.”

Wes looked at Travis' big lips, hoped they would talk soon, distract him and caught himself licking his own.

“You're right, you should stop talking.”

And then he kissed Wes. Right in a public parking lot. Right on his lips. Right there.  
It took him some time to process before he decided that he didn't care. Travis always said he should be more spontaneous and more adventurous, now was a good time to start wasn't it. Wes kissed back eagerly, closing his eyes, grabbing Travis' shirt to pull him closer. The hand on his chin wandered around to cup his cheek and somehow they were suddenly actually kind of making out in his car. 

Their tongues fought for dominance, the fight seeming to end in a tie until Wes gave up. He didn't know for how long they sat there but he assumed it had been a few minutes before a moan – something in him told him that it was his own – made him become aware of the tingling sensation that was about to grow in his pants. He snapped back, breath going quick and, according to the almost whimper that left Travis' lips and his own protesting abdomen, neither of them was actually happy about the loss. But still Wes straightened his shirt and jacket, looked back at his partner and then turned around to open the car door.

“We should go, lunch break doesn't last forever.”

He got out of the car and didn't give Travis, who just unbuckled himself as well, any chance to protest. They eventually entered the restaurant and ordered food and Travis didn't miss the little smile that curled up Wes' lips when he started eating his Spaghetti Bolognese.

***

“See, I told you we would be late.”

Wes pulled the car into the parking lot. He glanced at his watch and sighed – just two more minutes until their break was over. He stopped the car and turned to glare at Travis.

“This is all your fault.”

Travis looked up with big eyes, noodles dangling from his mouth – he had insisted that since his pizza hadn't been enough he needed some more lunch and since Wes didn't want to lose he drove Travis to the next Chinese restaurant where he got takeaway noodles.

“Wha?”

“Oh god, would you at least swallow before you talk? Now come on, we're late already.”

Another look at his watch – just one more minute... They got out of the car but then Travis didn't walk nearly as fast as his partner so Wes stopped again with an annoyed groan, turning back around.

“Would you _please_ fucking hurry, Travis?”

Travis took his last bite and grinned.

“Oh god, whatever is on your mind right now, just keep it to yourself.”

Travis' grin just widened and of course when he tossed the bowl of his noodles in the nearest trash can he began explaining:

“You know how you always wait for me?”

“What exactly did you not understand when I said 'Keep it to yourself'?”

Completely ignoring him Travis continued:

“You could just go in there alone. We don't actually have to get in together. Nobody even expects us to...”

Wes pretended not to hear anything by determinedly walking two steps ahead of Travis but the way his ears reddened exposed him.

“You even used to do that – going in alone I mean. I think it changed when we moved in together.”

“We're just sharing a flat!”

Travis grinned even more. He loved to embarrass Wes and maybe – just maybe – he even thought it was cute. At least as cute as a grown up man with OCD and an obsession about his lawn could be.

“Is that so? You sounded different, well, all the times before. I think you even actually, really wait for me for not too long now... Since that one night maybe?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

Travis stopped shortly, so did Wes.

“Where are your snarky comebacks? Come on Wes, tell me. What do you want us to be?”

They had almost reached the precinct now – three minutes late by now but Wes didn't pay attention anymore. He turned around to face Travis again.

“I know, Travis. I know okay? I accept that just because we had _sex_ one time – I still can't believe we actually did that – doesn't change anything. I get it. Now stop talking shit like- Why are you staring behind me?”

Travis did these faces he just sometimes did when he felt uncomfortable. When something happened that shouldn't have happened. Even though he knew he didn't want to, Wes slowly turned around just to see Amy standing in shock in the door frame to the precinct. They all took a few deep breaths and Amy kept quiet until they were inside and the door was closed between them, before she took out her phone to definitely call Kate immediately. They didn't hesitate any longer to just quickly make their way to Jonelle.

“Now that went pretty well.” Wes commented when they turned into an empty corridor, fastening his pace.

“What? It's my fault now?” Travis shouted and hurried to catch up with him when a couple of colleagues passed them.

“Of course it is. You were the one who started this whole topic after all, not me.”

“We agreed that it was not me!”

Wes stopped to gesticulate wildly.

“How many times do I need to tell you that you cannot take the things I said that one night for serious. I would've agreed to almost everything.”

Travis grinned.

“I didn't know you were _that_ desperate.”

“Why else do you think I would do … things like that with you?”

He sighed and successfully ignored Travis' hurt look.

“Didn't think you'd take advantage of my situation that moment but then again you are just-”

He was about to walk on and cross the last corner to the coroner when Travis grabbed his wrist, pulled him back and practically smashed him into the nearest wall. Wes was about to protest when Travis crashed their lips together. It was fierce, demanding and Travis pressed his tongue against Wes' mouth in no time so he responded immediately, had completely forgotten where they were in less than a second.

The kiss lasted, their hands became bored and desperate so Travis dug his fingers in Wes' hip bones who slid his hands through dark, short curls. It wasn't until Travis thrust his hips forward that far voices brought them back to reality. They pulled back – Wes hit his head a bit – and just stared at each other for a few moments. Then the voices got louder, Wes straightened his shirt and jacket and Travis exclaimed:

“We should really go see Jonelle now. Don't wanna make her wait.”

When they were just a few steps apart from the coroner's room Wes asked:

“So, is that going to be a thing now?”

Travis turned around, put his hand on the door handle.

“Huh?”

He pushed the door open.

“You making me shut up like this.”

They went inside, Wes following as close as possible. Travis grinned – again.

“Who knows?”

They didn't notice Jonelle staring at them until they were standing right in front of her.

“Huh, now look at that.”

Both Wes and Travis looked like deer in a headlight,

“Oh, don't give me that look.”

She flipped off her rubber gloves.

“I was about to complain about you guys being late but _this_ is something completely different.”

She paused to give the two men the chance to react and when nothing happened she added:

“Congratulations boys.”

That was when Wes snapped back to reality.

“I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.”

Jonelle just turned around, went back to the autopsy table and waved a hand to gesture them to follow.

“Don't even try to deny it. I'm trained to see the details. Travis' hair, Wes your shirt is only poorly tugged in, very unlikely. And I didn't even talk about your bruised lips yet. You're very bad at hiding things, how did you even become cops? But now have a look at that.”

 

She pointed at the corpse lying between them, making clear that the topic was discussed and closed.

"Here, right at the neck."

Jonelle showed them the exact spot and they could see a small wound, like the shot of a needle.

"Looks like..."

"Like Simon, the serial killer from two years ago, exactly. I also found an OD of adrenaline and brain hemorrhage. Which is why I called you."

Wes took a closer look.

"You could have said it was urgent, we would've been here earlier."

"To miss that?"

She pointed between the two of them.

"Sorry but it was totally worth it."

Travis shook his head in disbelief.

"People could've died in the time we were gone. Anyway what do you think about this? It can't be Simon, we arrested him. And I've heard nothing about him being out of jail."

"He isn't, I already checked."

Wes frowned.

"He didn't have an accomplice as well."

Jonelle nodded.

"Would've acted earlier I guess."

A short moment of silence until Travis said:

"So, a copy cat it is?"

"That's what I think. The shot isn't as clear as Simon's as well."

"Okay." Wes cut in. "Did you talk to the Captain yet? Whose case is it right now?"

Jonelle turned around to grab new gloves.

"As for now it's Amy and Kate's. I wanted to hear your opinions first before I talk to Sutton. But now that I told you, you might as well tell him yourself."

Then she smiled her smile that didn't leave any spaces for protest and turned back around to the corpse. Wes and Travis left with a sigh.

A few minutes later they knocked on Captain Sutton's door. He called them in but when he saw who exactly they were he frowned. Wes coughed when he inhaled the fumes coming from various incense sticks.

"Aren't you supposed to be on your way to therapy?"

"Yeah, well, this is important."

Sutton waved Wes off.

"Gentlemen, just because it's not in your conditions anymore doesn't mean therapy is less important. A relationship is something you need to work on constantly. The smallest lack in attention and it will go to the dogs."

Travis and Wes shared a look, wondered if their Captain would ever get tired of therapy stuff, especially now that things seemed not to be easy with his wife - they caught him sleeping in the precinct more and more often. Sutton eyed the two of them for a moment, then waved them away.

"Off you go!"

"But it really is important."

But he just actually shooed them away. Reluctantly they left the office and made their way to Wes' car. Halfway on the parking lot Travis asked:

"Do you think the Cap is alright? He seemed absentminded."

Wes opened the car and waited for both of them to sit down and close the door before he answered. He grabbed the seat belt.

"I don't know. I mean, I know he's obsessed with therapy but he would _never_ neglect a case for it."

When he started the engine he added:

"Hey, text Jonelle that he wouldn't listen to us."

He pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the red building they now knew almost too well. On their way Travis asked casually:

"So, do you think you can deal with it?"

Wes looked at him, frowning.

"Deal with what?"

"With the fact that you're bad at hiding things. Dr. Ryan isn't stupid you know."

The blonde turned to him another time despite Travis' disapproving look.

"Keep your eyes on the street!"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, keep your eyes on the street.", Travis repeated calmly.

Wes turned back and after a minute of considering he eventually said:

"I am most definitely not going to spill anything."

In his peripheral view Wes saw his partner shake his head.

"You did it before, you know."

"Because you started the topic. Just keep your mouth shut and no one will know anything."

They had arrived at the therapy house at that point and Wes turned off the engine. Then he mumbled - mostly to himself:

"I wouldn't even know what to say because neither of us has an idea what's going on."

Travis shrugged while he unbuckled himself.

"Point."

They got out of the car, into the house and to the therapy room. The sign that showed that the session had started was already hanging outside. Wes pushed the door open.

"Sorry we're late. There was an emergency at the precinct."

Dr. Ryan nodded and pointed her head to the only empty seats.

"Just sit down and listen to what Rozelle is telling us."

The two detectives sat down and Rozelle continued her story where she had stopped:

"Anyway when he came home that night he asked me to have a threesome."

Wes coughed slightly, showing his discomfort. Clyde tried to explain:

"I wasn't saying it like that. I just mentioned that we should probably try something new in our relationship. Like _some_ people do with a threesome."

Wes rolled his eyes. Dr Ryan tried to mediate:

"I think this situation isn't too difficult, you just need to talk about it."

She looked at the couple.

"Rozelle, do you agree that your relationship has been a bit dull recently?"

Rozelle shrug-nodded.

"Clyde, your choice of words might not have been the best one but it is important to talk about your needs. You should really sit together and have a talk about what exactly you would like to change."

She paused shortly.

"In fact this is a very good questions for all our couples here. I want you to say what things you think have become dull in your relationship and what you'd like to change to make several things more interesting again.  
"I assume all of you have a few comments for your partners? It doesn't matter what topic this is about – if it's some bad habit or like in Rozelle and Clyde's case sexua-”

The therapist was about to finish her explanation when Wes shook his head.

“Wes, do you want to start?”

The blonde sat up straight again.

“I don't see why we have to do this. We know each other's flaws, point them out often enough and aren't going to change them. I even know Travis' kinks”, he added with a frown.

“This isn't about kinks, Wes. It's about bringing something new into your relationship and talking about it to understand each other's needs.”

Wes laughed a dry laugh.

“I've had enough change, trust me.”

Dr Ryan seemed interested now.

“Is that so? Would you like to talk about it?”

Wes swallowed hard.

“No, I don't want to talk about it. If I did I would've already.”

And before the therapist could ask any more questions Travis, who had been surprisingly quiet up to this point, burst out:

“I knew you'd slip it!”

“I didn't let anything slip, now shut up before you do.”

“Oh my god, you guys totally hooked up didn't you?”

Everyone in the room had their eyes on Dakota then. The first one to turn away was Travis who was sending a mix of glares and I-told-you-so-looks. Wes' cheeks gained a deep tone of red.

“Awww, you're blushing.”

And suddenly Rozelle and Clyde were forgotten and everyone started asking questions at the same time. Wes had trouble to pull himself together and to not just run out of the room. Dr. Ryan saved him.

“Guys, please, calm down.”

Wes took a deep breath.

“Now maybe you want to tell us about it on your own?”

“As I already said, I do _not_ want to talk about it.”

Travis' leg began to twitch a little bit which Dr Ryan seemed to notice.

“Travis, what about you?”

He bit his lip, showed Wes an apologetic look and started babbling:

“We wanted to cook – or actually Wes wanted us to cook – and he knew I couldn't and everything went wrong and then suddenly he was shirtless and had tomato sauce everywhere and then _stuff_ happened. We agreed it wouldn't happen again but somehow it did and then we had a fight but we made up and out and now none of us has an idea what's goi-”

In a second Wes grabbed Travis' face and pressed their lips together. When he pulled back the whole room was silent and everyone – including Dr. Ryan and Travis – was staring at him with wide eyes. Wes shifted uncomfortably.

“What? Travis already spit everything out and I just played by his rules and it made him shut up so...” he tried to make excuses.

“No, no” Mr. Dumont calmed him down. “I just didn't think you'd be the active one.”

Hesitantly the others nodded.

“Whoa, wait. I _am_ the active one.” Travis protested but Wes cut him off:

“What? Just because I know how to cook and like to have everything clean and organized means I am the 'female part'?”

His index and middle fingers were drawing quotation signs in the air. Mr. Dumont wanted to clear things up but Wes was faster with talking than thinking at that moment.

“And just for your information – for everyone's information -”

He pointed around the circle to make his point clearer.

“When we had sex it was _me_ who to-”

Suddenly Travis pressed his right hand on Wes' mouth and, when he struggled, tackled him to the ground. The other group members chuckled and giggled.

“So you're going to switch?” Dakota asked. She was ignored.

While Wes and Travis wrestled on the floor Rozelle elbowed her husband between his hips, her face looking as if she wanted to say 'See, this is what I am having in mind'.  
Mr. Dumont was cheering for Travis while his wife tried to calm him down by hitting his thigh just like Wes sometimes did it with his partner.

It took a few minutes before Dr. Ryan eventually interrupted. At that point the two detectives were lying on top of each other - probably just moments away from making out again.

"Okay, guys, calm down."

Both their heads snapped up and they remembered where exactly they were. Quickly Wes pushed Travis away at arm's length, stood up , straightened his jacket and sat down in his usual seat. Travis followed him immediately.

There was another short period of silence until Dr. Ryan began to explain:

"First of all, congratulations guys. I see that it's been a long way to get you where you're now which is why I want you to not throw this opportunity away.  
"You're now at a point where you can compensate your anger in something more productive and I hope it will make you both feel more balanced."

She made a little pause before she continued.

"I think it's also very important in a relationship like yours to keep both in charge."

"Okay, can we now please stop talking about this?"

Wes was completely ignored.

"Switching positions is not uncommon in homosexual relationships and in your case the best way to make you both equal."

"Equal!?"

Travis groaned when Wes interrupted Dr. Ryan's again.

"Okay, first of all I feel the need to clarify that it only happened once. We're not even sure ourselves if it was an accident or not."

Mr. Dumont looked at them.

"What do you think?"

"Well, all I know is that every time I want to talk about it Travis finds a distraction."

"So you tried to talk about it?"

Wes looked at Dr. Ryan.

"I did, yes. Travis didn't so much."

The therapist then turned to Travis.

"Travis, why don't you want to talk about it?"

He swallowed.

"Because I'm not ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Yes, Travis, ready for what?"

There was obvious accusation in Wes' voice.

"For a relationship? For feelings? I don't know."

"Who said anything about feelings?"

Travis now turned to his partner, making it their conversation.

"Because I don't want to just play with you, because I don't want to ruin us. My stupidity almost cost you your job once I don't want it to happen again."

Wes blinked.

"I... I didn't know... I'm sorry. It's just... For me sex isn't just a game. That's it, I said it."

A few seconds of silence passed before Dr. Ryan asked:

"How does that make you feel, Travis?"

Travis hesitated.

"I don't know. I really care about you, Wes, I do. And maybe we could give it a chance, give us a chance..."

Both detectives then flinched.

"Oh my god, I can't believe how awful you just made that sound."

"But I can't promise that I won't hurt you. I'll try not to but I can't promise. I know both our love lives have been pretty messed up. But I'll try, that's all I can do."

Wes' look was hard to describe.

"I am happy for you that you could come to a point of agreement." Dr. Ryan shared when Travis went for breath.

"In the end your problems aren't so different. You both have problems with trusting people. And I would like to say that you trust each other the most."

The group was quiet for a while before Clint asked:

"But we all know that Wes still loves his ex-wife, don't you fear he will still think of her?"

The question caught Travis off-guard and made Wes angry again.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm over Alex? I haven't been wearing my wedding ring in over two months. I can't even say where it is right now."

He waved his left hand in front of everyone - even Travis - to show them.

"Now can we please stop talking about that? I didn't want anyone to know and now I'm not even sure know who doesn't know already."

He sighed and swallowed. This session had been far too much about them. The whole support group was silent again. Then Dr. Ryan said:

"Wes is right. We should give them some time to figure their situation out themselves before we start asking the wrong questions."

"Thank you, Dr. Ryan."

It was Travis who thanked her. In the next moment his phone rang. Wes glimpsed at the screen as Travis pulled it out of his bag. It was Jonelle.

"Just a few minutes earlier..." he mumbled to himself before he got up.

"Sorry, but this is urgent. We need to go."

Travis nodded and stood up as well. They left the room with haste but didn't close the door before Mr. Dumont could shout 'Go get some, T-Bone!' and the detective couldn't help the chuckle. The phone stopped ringing and Travis called Jonelle back while they made their way to Wes' car.

On a normal day they wouldn't have to get back to the precinct after therapy but Jonelle's call changed plans. But this was definitely not a normal day and before she could answer Travis quickly pulled Wes in for a peck. As Jonelle answered the phone a startled Wes started the engine.

"Hey."

She didn't let him reply.

"I finally got to talk to Sutton, he wants you to have the case."

And with that she hung up. Wes looked at Travis questioningly.

"Back to the precinct, Jonelle got us the case."

The blonde nodded and didn't change his direction, already driving towards the office.

***

It was past midnight when the two detectives arrived at their apartment. They had spent all the hours researching and re-filing. Wes looked and felt as if he could fall asleep right on the spot - standing in the hallway - and Travis had to practically drag him into his bedroom.  
He placed him on the bed and turned around to leave but Wes held onto him. Even half asleep his grip was strong and Travis couldn't get away without having to push the other one and wake him up again.  
I had been no wonder Wes had let Travis drive his baby. He probably wouldn't even have gotten the engine started.

While Travis was still wondering how he should leave without waking up Wes the blonde tugged at his sleeve and mumbled:

"Come on, lie down."

Travis frowned even though Wes couldn't see it.

"But this is your bed."

Wes squinted one eye open and even in this ridiculous state he made a perfect bitch face - as Travis sometimes called it but would never tell.

"I know and now lie down."

He tugged once again and turned around, leaving enough space for a second person.

"You know that the argument 'You were drunk' is not gonna work cause you didn't drink?"

Wes let out a tired sigh but didn't look at Travis when he spoke again.

"You know what? You're right. I changed my mind, please leave."

"What?"

"You heard me, now leave."

Wes struggled around for a bit before he spread his limbs all over the sheet, his face buried in his pillow.

"Alright, alright. You win."

"I don't want to win, I want you to leave."

His voice was muffled. For a few seconds nothing happened.

"Are you leaving alread- unf!"

Wes gasped - Travis had just fallen on top of him.

"Travis, what the hell?"

Travis chuckled.

"You told me to get in bed with you..."

"I told you to leave!"

Travis closed his arms around Wes' chest - as far as it was possible without the blonde not moving.

"Oh babe, don't pout."

Wes turned his head as much as he could to look at Travis with his eyes narrowed.

"What did you just call me?"

The other's eyebrows shot up.

"Huh? It's not the first time I call you babe."

"I know, you're just usually not lying on top of me."

Travis let his eyes wander from his partner's face down to where their hips were touching and back up, his face suddenly accompanied by a smug grin.

"That's true. But only because I wasn't regularly lying on top of you."

Wes buried his face back in his pillow.

"Now would you please roll over already? You're fucking heavy. And wipe that grin off your face."

Wes could feel Travis' grin spread even wider when he crawled aside. The blonde took a deep breath and then rolled over a bit himself so they could both lie on the bed. They just lay next to each other for a few minutes. Wes' breathing started to even out and he turned around and put his arm around Travis' waist.

"What are you doing?"

"Tired. Comfortable." was all Wes said - or rather mumbled - pressing his body against the other one. They spent another few minutes in comfortable silence.

"Hey Travis."

"Hm?"

He was drifting off as well.

"Thank you."

Travis turned on his back and looked at his partner.

"What for?"

Wes shuffled closer and nuzzled his nose where Travis' neck and shoulder met.

"Believing me."

"What are you talking about?"

Even though Travis sounded annoyed he put his arm under Wes' head and rested his hand on his shoulder. When the blonde didn't react Travis shook him a bit. With a start he woke up again and immediately continued where the conversation had stopped.

"About Alex."

Travis tightened his grip.

"I didn't even say anything."

"And that's the point."

"Well then, why shouldn't I believe you?"

Wes sighed.

"Because you've always been the one who said I wasn't over her."

"You know I was teasing you."

Wes made a face that Travis couldn't really interpret - but he would probably call it a faked smile.

"I think for a while I believed it because you convinced me."

Travis had to consider this confession for a moment.

"I didn't know I had _that_ much influence on you."

Wes sighed once more.

"Well, even though I hate to admit it you have. Especially since Paekman is gone. Everything's hit me extra hard."

Travis gulped and turned a bit towards Wes to properly embrace him.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

And without any more talking they kissed. Just kisses, slowly and tenderly. As they grew more tired and their kisses became lazier they continued to just lie there together on Wes' bed - hugging each other - until they drifted off to sleep.

***

It was dawning when Wes first opened his eyes. He was still lying entangled with Travis, just now being half on top of him.

He thought about what he had done the night before. He had reached out for Travis. He took Dr. Ryan's advice serious, right? He should be proud of himself. And some part of him really was. Yes, he had been over Alex for quite some time but trusting people still wasn't easy. Even though it sounded ridiculous and stupid - given that their past wasn't exactly what one would call a good friendship - Travis was still the person he trusted most. Years of having each other's backs in gunfire made it impossible not to. So _if_ things could work out it would be with Travis.

Wes lay there for a few more minutes, enjoying the moments of Travis being silent, before he rolled over and got up. Travis only commented on this with a quiet groan.

The first thing Wes did was get out of the suit he was still wearing. It would take ages to get the wrinkles out again. It wasn't until he was stripped down to his briefs that Travis gained some consciousness.

"Hm, nice ass."

Wes spun around.

"God, Travis!" he groaned - to show his disapproval but of course Travis would take the opportunity to tease him some more.

"You don't have to call me God. Just Travis is fine with me. Or was I that good the other night?"

Wes felt the urge to punch the smirk out of his partner's face. Instead he said:

"Don't forget which part you played the other night, Just-Travis."

This time it was Wes who grinned. He could see the gears working in Travis' brain, which tried hard to come up with a good reply. He remained silent.

"Cut it out, Travis. I won. Now get _your_ ass out of my bed, we need to get ready for work."

Travis buried his head back in the pillows and Wes took the chance to change his pants without having to deal with further commenting. He was surprised himself that his plan actually worked. Wes even managed to put on his undershirt and trousers before Travis stirred to life again and turned back to look at his partner.

"How late is it?"

"Late enough, now get up."

Wes put on a shirt but left it unbuttoned, then turned to leave his room.

"At least go put some new clothes on."

With that he went to the bathroom. He needed to clear his head, splashed cold water in his face. It had just really come to his mind that he had spent the night cuddling with Travis. Cuddling and Travis weren't two words that he usually used in one sentence unless a _not_ was involved.

But somehow the worst was just how right it had felt. How comfortable he had been, how deep and peaceful his sleep had been.

Wes was now staring at his own reflection wondering who the man was he was looking at. Just a few months ago he had argued whether or not they should move in together - he had been the con part. Now he had had sex with his partner and they spent their night cuddling. 

Freaking cuddling!

A slight blush crept up his neck and cheeks just when Travis decided to join him - he hadn't decided to put clothes on yet. The other man tried for his toothbrush and of course it was on the other side of the sink and instead of just taking it Travis grabbed around Wes, suddenly much closer.

The blonde kept looking in the mirror, seeing Travis' black hair near the crook of his neck. He couldn't help saying the things that were stuck in his mind at that point.

"This is weird."

Travis, who was now pouring toothpaste on his toothbrush looked up to lock his eyes with those of Wes' reflection. He saw the two of them stand next to each other, shoulders touching, shirts wrinkled and unbuttoned.

"Huh" was all Travis produced as a reply.

They spent a few moments just practically staring at each other's reflection before they realized the awkward silence that had formed around them.

Clearing his throat Wes eventually looked away and grabbed his own toothbrush. He avoided making eye contact the whole time before they left for work. For breakfast he prepared himself some rolls while Travis had flakes with lots of milk. Wes pretended to be very invested in the slice of cheese laying on top of his roll, then he observed the way a drop of water made its way down a bowl in the sink.

Wes had actually managed to not have any contact of any sort with Travis until they left their flat. He grabbed his jacket and was about to reach out for his car keys when he realized they weren't in their usual place. He turned to his partner, his lips already parting to ask him about the whereabouts of his key when he was silenced in advance by another pair of lips pressing against his.

Wes was too surprised to process what was happening and before he an could react the pressure was gone and a key again was held in front of his eyes. He wanted to protest then, ask Travis what he had been thinking but again his partner was faster.

"Calm down, Wes. We agreed to try this together and that's what we'll do. So please don't freak out every time I touch you okay?"

He scratched his neck.

"When you're so anxious you make me nervous too."

Wes just grabbed the keys, turned around and left.

Travis had some trouble to keep up with him even when he started jogging behind him. They got to Wes' car at the same time. Even though Travis wanted to talk to him the whole drive he waited for them to pull into the precinct's parking lot. Wes didn't even try to escape this time because he knew himself that they would have to have the following conversation some time. So why not get it over with and forget what had happened because things got serious. Just Travis didn't play that game.

"What I said before... I meant it."

He softly laid his hand on Wes' thigh.

"We're gonna make it, okay? We will trust each other just like we always did."

Wes opened his mouth to say something but shut it again without a sound leaving it. He swallowed. When he didn't attempt to talk again, Travis sighed.

"Look, I know we're both screwed up and it's gonna be a lot of work and I can't believe I am the one trying to act adult here."

This made Wes breathe a laugh. Travis smiled.

"There. It's only complicated and awkward if we make it, okay?"

Before Wes could answer, his partner shortly pressed their lips together and quickly got out of the car. It took him a few seconds to process, then he followed Travis. When they entered the precinct they were walking just a little bit closer than usually. At work their fingers would brush from time to time while going over files, Travis would lean just a little bit closer when he looked over Wes' shoulder and they would bicker just a little bit less.

That was all it took for them to know they were okay.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, guys, for.the long wait. After common law was officially cancelled I couldn't find my muse...  
> But now I even have an idea for.a.sequel with much angst :D So stay tuned.
> 
> Also thanks for everyone who read my fanfic and left a kudo or even a comment. I love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I started writing this ages (like 1 1/2 months) ago. I was super happy when it somehow turned out canon - yk, the cooking part.  
> One half of the second part is already written and I think there's also a third one coming if you want to. Second is a bit more angsty and third is going to be more cracky again :D
> 
> So, tell me if you liked it or not. I'd really appreciate it!
> 
> (Also, I guess I'm gonna edit it at some point, as in add italian font and stuff...)
> 
> EDIT: Edited italian font for emphasis :D Also, next chapter will (hopefully) be up next week.


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